christina

CONTINUED...

2006-12-04T00:39:00.000+08:00

CONTINUED...

Ytd was such an eventful day!

Last day of the math/sci camp for the kids, Fiona coming to my hse, gg to far east to buy her clothes, coming out to support kyensai…

Well the camp has been draining.. I kinda losing my voice aft 3 days of it. Those kids are really out of my reach to handle I guess. The last time at pat’s schhse those kids were so much youner n they come from totally diff backgrounds. Now they’re older, more rowdy, defiant, loud, run faster, less adorable n sweet.

But still it’s a great experience. To noe wad I lack. To learn how to be better. To gain inter-personal skills. To make frens w those kids. They’re all people themselves. To try to teach them values n to correct their character, its really scary to imagine how some wld turn out if they continue being the way they are… spooky

N we all have our favourites I guess. The kids stick to sm people n we stick w/ em. Its cute hearing em call jiejie jiejie haha. Had to speak cl a lot… so unlyk pat’s..

THANK YOU FIONA for waking up at 6.30 to come to help us! Im so glad you enjoyed urself a lot! And if u din come for the camp u wldnt hv come for the comp either! Nor actually spent the whole day w me!

Well the last day wasn’t tt bad after all. Tho it was the worst for some people –erhem cough cough- haha maky u make a great slave! Soz ahh some ppl v blind no eyes cant see signs! N I feel so sorry tt u were being dragged to a females’ toilet wahaha! Nice shit dood!

N pw ran abt so much, tho I tink I ran the least… I mean I din feel tired! Amazingly I din sweat at all! Was in the shade sm time… with bingxuan n karine… they kinda stole me away fr the action haha, after karine had heatstroke…

I din noe u cld buy the sausage mcmuffin n drink at 2 bucks! Woohoo! The sprite remained cold throughout! Wheee!

Maky had a whole bunch of ardent fans clinging to him all the time! U rock as a child paedo Casanova! Wahaha

Back at the centre I cant believe evthg went smoothly! It was so fun! Played the bombing game and the kids were brimming with energy, they make me feel old! Oso played the knotted game and yeah it was so stupid watching the pri 2s n 3s refusing to touch the hands of the opp sex. SHEEEEEEESH. Oso played with tangrams…and the kids really refused to use their brains, some juz gave up n complained
.
im so tired again…sorry…

-TO BE CONT’-

CASTING CROWNS SONGS

2006-12-03T20:55:00.000+08:00

TRY READING THESE LYRICS IF U’VE NV HEARD OF CASTING CROWNS BE4 OR DUN GIVE A SHIT ABT THEM.

I DUNNO ABT U, BUT THEIR SONGS REALLY WRENCH AT UR HEARTSTRINGS N I CLDNT HELP CRYG WHEN I 1ST HEARD THEM LAST TIME. AND IM NT THE ONLY PERSON SO TOUCHED… MILLIONS OF LIVES HV BEEN CHANGED BY THE MEANING CAPTURED IN THEIR SONGS

===================================

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

---------------------------------------

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

---------------------------------------

I was sure by now, God You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can I carry on
if I can't find You

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth

---------------------------------------

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away,
like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it,
maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin,
I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

CASTING CROWNS IS FINALLY IN SINGAPORE!

2006-12-03T20:49:00.000+08:00

CASTING CROWNS IS FINALLY IN SINGAPORE!

U HEAR ME? YOU! IF UR READING THIS, READ HARD LISTEN UP!

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HURRY WAD ARE U WAITING FOR?!

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FREE SHUTTLE SERVICE TO EVANGEL FAMILY CHURCH BE4 N AFT THE CONCERTS
COFFEE BEAN N TEALEAF MUFFINS N FOOD OSO OFFERED THESE 2 DAYS!

erms aft Os n evthg.. super eventful yr

2006-12-02T12:43:00.000+08:00

I didn’t decide to blog but I dunno why I am doing so now anyway. Prolly cos I’ve not done so 4 eons?

I dun really care if any1 visits this old lousy blog of a not v intersetg me but heck la im juz typing all these since anyway, a blog’s function is to record events, sth I’ve neglected always and now I realize maybe I shld juz pen these down 4 personal keepsake, as future triggers to many memories filled with lotsa emotions.

I cant really decipher my mind right now, feeling lethargic…

It’s the most eventful n significant year for me, this “sweet sixteen”. May not be that sweet n blissful, but downright eventful n full of turning points, which ev1 of them changed or altered the course of my life, perhaps even impacting other ppl too.

Btw, sm stuff here will be lyk impossible to comprehend cos its juz my own recordgs, nt intended 4 otrs to share anw

So yeah, wadsup these few mths?

Lots.

Prelims, Os, results, lotsa unfavourable events cum life-lessons cum regrets. I cant really say regrets, cos mistakes happen all the time, no pt regretg, but instead to learn fr em n rmb these mistakes as danger zones 4 e future

O yes, I had to experience loneliness in a whole different dimension, pretty cool. I felt detached n being an observer of myself. Observg n commentg inside on my thots n actions, as well as actions of otrs.

Im not a philoshy, nt a believer in it. But sm philosophies are true, but tt they dun piece tgh the entire pic of life, all those theories n platitudes r lackg in tt sth, the essence of a dimension… tt means jesus.

I dun care if otrs dun give a shit to wad im sayg n find all im sayg warped n tortuous to know.

But I do still care abt those souls. –good, at least I’ve nt drifted so far away fr god tt I still feel e burden-

I feel damn sad 4 ppl hu dun hv god, when ur emo u’ve no 1 to turn to. Slashg wrists cant remove the internal pain tt’s too great. Hiding the pain fr otrs makes thgs worse. Showcasg ur pain is plain taxg on otrs’ ears. Basically ppl usually dun give a shit to how ur life is n heck to ur turmoil.

Gee I tink im gettg more vulgar. I guess it’s 1 of the reasons ppl get vulgar, when thgs get so crappy in life.
But hey, I still am tryg to get on w life as best as possible. Ain gonna end it anytime soon. And im resolute not to slash myself or wadeva ever, muz keep in mind ur body is still god’s place of residence. It’s not entirely YOUR body, but its owned by god, n its our responsibility to nt inflict scars on His creation.

Tt’s y the simple msg tt god loves YOU is so powerful. No 1 really loves otr ppl. We have to find a reason to love n to even sympathise. Cares are too heavy a load, it’s juz a me world cos we all believe we’re the scum-of-the-earth, no 1 else’s troubles can hold a candle to ours…well ev1 will get screwed up sm time or another, we’re all on level ground…

Tt explains casting crowns’ success

Ok I shall do sth stupid now….cos im feelg really worn out

--to be continued--

after prelims!

2006-09-24T23:05:00.000+08:00

today's a great day, like all other days

it's juz tt i nv realise how gd every day created by god is

ytd was a gd day

today was too

church msg was so gd!! altar was the best ever! yay thank god chai yi n chai ling came

shopping was fun too

thank god! i lost my bag then panicked n then found it when i went back! isnt tt a miracle?! i thot it was gonna be in vain gg back to search 4 tt bag

yupz

i'm tired aft 3 consecutive days of shopping

finally can do sm shopping n wasting time yay!

I'll cling on to my faith

2006-07-27T23:55:00.000+08:00

I am really troubled inside.

So many things have happened that made me think about my faith and how I should make my stand.

My thoughts are really jumbled...

I am so hurt by those words. But I guess many non-christians are like that. It's really just lyk a slap in the face, and I can feel the spear slicing through Jesus' heart as those words lashed out. It's not me who's hurt, ultimately it's God. I'm just his servant. Anyway, they'll just make me more resolute, instead of plunging into despondant despair.

I'm really sorry to all who may feel offended by me and my perhaps perceived puritanical ways. I just did an assignment on Puritans. And it did make me reflect alot alot.

Am I a Puritan? What's wrong with being a Puritan? Were Puritans all dull and boring and teh police officers of this world!

If that notion that christians restict the world with their set of rules is really that existant, as is already obviously is... well it's so wrong! God does not strive to constrain us. He is Holy yes, but humans arent perfect and holy. And God does not condemn us for being inperfect. His heart cries out to us. God is a living being whom I really love. I'm not a fanatic or whatsoever, I just love God. Like many others.

Why do Christians seem to be holy and goody-two-shoes. It's not cos Christians are holy. NO tt's the wrong equation. We try to be "PURE" because we want to please God, and not to separate ourselves from the world. NO we do not want our livestyles to condemn the world or inflict any more suffering on people. It's already such a chore to live life right?

NO we don't wanna be a pain in people's asses.

Yes there are plenty of hypocrites out there. Millions of bad testimonies out there. Just like Malvolio in 12th Night.

Christianity is NOT about abiding by a set of rules. And I bet a ton of ppl think that we live by the 10 commandments and nothing else. O so does it mean that if you're a Christian and u sin, u get struck down by lightning? Or is it that God does not condemn sin and thus happily allow sin to exist?

It pains god to see people sin. Sin separates people from Him. But by having a relationship with Jesus casts away this divide.

Above all else, I do not wish to be labeled as being a staunch Christian or what. What I mean is, I do not wish to be labeled as some crazy religious idiot. Cos I AM NOT RELIGIOUS. I just happen to be in a relatioship with God. It's not about being holy-holy, but by living life with God walking beside you.

HENCE, I could rejoyce in the midst of depression. Hence I did not feel very bitter after BP. It's not cos i'm strong or what, but cos there's a joy and peace in my heart. And also for my objectives for joinning in the 1st place. And the knowledge that God's grace will see me through. His grace was sufficient for me in times of emotional turmoil.

BP was my tesimony. Regardless of the results, I do not care it does not determine my value as a person. I placed PGA in God's hands, and now the future is already promised to be better than my past. It will come to past. And whatever happens is in God's Will.

That's what faith does for you. It gives you hope for a better future. And the better future will come to pass cos God never fails. All prophecies and promises are confirmed fulfilment.

I rest my case.

Btw, Praise You in this Storm spoke to my heart after BP... yet again. It spoke to countless, No wonder it won an Emmy...

Christina!

2006-07-12T23:41:00.000+08:00

haiz.
am i total loser or am i a totel sucker?

Either also applies. Take ur pick. Wad the i really sometimes feel that i should not exist on this earth for the benefit of every mortal whom I've irritated and offended. Rarr. The irony is that the person most irritated is myself. Yes i irritate myself the most.

Anw yea i hope the article tomorrow will be accurate or else i kena. hope I din say anything wrong, which happens to be my forte.

And i'm really hoping God'll give me a good task.

O well I must start studying.

And start outreaching.

Be Prepared

2006-07-02T15:40:00.000+08:00

MAN. I'm so sianz out. Still in pga. Got BP to do now on teh 15th.

It's taking it's toil man. Tho I've learnt alot thru pga, but i'm seriously sacrificing all my slack n go out n shopping time. And worse still, neglecting studies. Prelims dun seem to ring any bell in my head. Errrgh

sigh i'm drained by pga.

Ok let's juz hurry get this last leg of the race done n over with.

how to Be Prepared?!

2006-06-28T00:59:00.000+08:00

Haha! Came across this joke (:

--------------------------------

An atheist was quite incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holidays for them to celebrate.The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the downtrodden and assigned their sharpest attorney to the case.

The case was brought up before a learned judge who after listening to the passionate presentation by the ACLU representative, banged his gavel and said "Case dismissed!"

The ACLU lawyer stood up and objected to the ruling and said, "Your honor, how can you dismiss this case?" Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. And the Jews-why in addition to Passover they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah.....and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"

The judge leaned back in his chair and simply said "Obviously your client is too confused to know about or for that matter even celebrate the atheists' holiday!"

The ACLU lawyer pompously said "We are aware of no such holiday for atheists-just when might that be?"

The judge said "Well it comes every year at the same time---April 1st.

'The fool hath said in his heart there is no God.'" (Psalm 14:1)

Now I know why we have April Fool's Day!And it will never be the same again.....GOD BLESS

----------------------------------

God I want to love everybody. For every single person whom I've hated in the past, from today onwards I will love them more than myeslf.

Unleash your power God!

punch kick whack u satan!

2006-06-28T00:43:00.000+08:00

I am going to go all out, watch out satan!

I am going to save my friends!

I am going to spend all my excess time devoting it for God

I dont care what others think. I dont care if they despise me just like they have despised so many others. I dont live to please men but YOU only.

Jesus you are the one for me

More than anything, I want to love you and I want to stop my friends from falling into the enemies' hands

For the time is near

The lost sheep are everywhere

We are made to be fishers of men

Yet, how many fish have we caught?

I will cry oh God, for every friend that disbelieves.

Now I feel your grief. The pain you have felt when your people have cast their eyes away

God you have touched my life

I will never let you go

These words are from my heart

-------------------------------

Now I know why this sensation has been in me this whole day
Ever since the day started, my mouth has been filled with such anxiety. My heart is pounding and in unrest. The burden is placed within me.

God I will grab every moment I live for YOU
Till the day I meet you and hug you God!

I know God you'll not take away this burden in me. What have I been doing with my life? Wasting it away. God my PURPOSE! IT'S time to SERVE U MY GOD!

why we can trust the Bible?

2006-06-28T00:26:00.000+08:00

written by 40 men, chosen by God to write it.
written over a period of 1,500 years. Those 40 men who wrote were on 3 separate continents, and were all writing the same thing, at the same time. The gospel of Christ.
[In that day, they had no mail delivery trucks, no drop ship planes, no Federal Express, no UPS and no e-mail. So how could it be then that they all wrote the same things while on 3 separate continents? Because as the men wrote, God spoke. ]
God's Second Testimony to us that He is the divine author of the Bible
Prophecy. The bible is approximately 40% prophecy. There are nearly 8,000 verses of prophecy in the bible. Of those nearly 8,000 verses, 90% of them have come to pass with exact accuracy. The remaining 10% are either in the works now, or will be coming to pass soon.
Only God can tell our entire trajectory of history from the beginning to the end. And God has not been wrong yet. God's prophetic program has proven to be precise and excruciatingly exact.

Take on the Great Commission for REAL now

2006-06-28T00:17:00.000+08:00

Now is the time!

We don't have long before the Tribulation begins.

Are you prepared?

Very soon, Religious and Government officials will anounce something very startling.

Luke 21:26 Men's hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.

Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.

Praise and Honour/ Our greatest fear

2006-06-25T23:19:00.000+08:00

O man I really need to get back to God. I'm so so glad today I managed to be in church again today.

After not having like 2 services and a string of cell group recently, mostly due to PGA, coming to church again today brought me so much closer to God again, before I start to lose my focus.

Today it was a surprise when the youth started jumping during worship and the singing was much louder than usual. We started with ONE WAY! Jesus! You’re the only one that I could live for! Yes! We must keep getting our focus readjusted!

I must reach out to people again.. MUST MUST!! I realize how my prayers have been going. Listing out what I want. PGA, relationships with people (parents and friends), thanking God for a lot of stuff, O level Chinese, O Level and Prelims, to get back to study mode, managing time better, loving God more and more…..

Basically NO REACHING OUT TO FRIENDS. O no! That used to be in my list. Now let’s get it back.

I love Pastor Marion’s preaching. She may be emotional, but I think that helps us to relate to her better. She’s also really a servant for God and fears not to speak her mind. And our pastors are righteous, keeping to the word of God and not following the world in curry favouring people, wanting glory and pleasing others.

Sermon was about Praise and Honour.

Super powerful message to me.

1) Praise and honour comes best for the heart and be true
2) Praise and honour should not be withheld when it is due
3) Praise and honour when given/ overlooked should not cause us to be proud/bitter cos they should not be the key motivational factor of our lives.
4) Praise and honour to God should be our 1st priority cos honour comes from honouring god.

1) Praise and honour comes best for the heart and be true

Lotsa people curry favour and suck up to others for obvious reasons. Myself included I admit. It’s scary. –shiver shiver-

I don’t wanna honour people for the wrong reason!

2) Praise and honour should not be withheld when it is due

We stuck up people are always not praising people enough. Especially if they are our rivals. But if you’ve been genuinely praised before and you can felt the other person’s warmth, you’ll know that such praise is encouraging and makes you glow with pride. [PRIDE—now tt’as a dangerous thing to tread into]

Well if we don’t exhort people when it is due for them, God’ll have his way and exalt them in due time anyway. And this method is even bigger!

3) Praise and honour when given/ overlooked should not cause us to be proud/bitter cos they should not be the key motivational factor of our lives.

O man! I think this struck me the hardest. I hate it. There’s always this nagging feeling to accept praise and well, after all I DESERVE IT rite? I, ME, MYSELF. My talents/ contributions/ hard work to earn this statements of praise. It’s just a one-liner. I earned it. I bag it. I Own it.
So self-centered eeeew argh yucks.

Then when people just have to ignore you when they’re rattling off how great another person is, I’ll always think, yeah okokokokok fine fine fine. You missed out me. I’m as good, better. You forgot me. Bleargh.

I can’t stand it no longer I must sit. No wait perhaps I’ll jump.

I must scream! How can I be so manipulated by the devil? I feel so lousy, being twisted at the fingers of S.A.Tan. Well well, that’s precisely why we need jesus.

~I cant walk this road alone.
In my life I need You.
Holy one come take my hand~

God in due time will exalt his people. And it’ll be manifold. Those who despised His people what their good works will be made to eat shit next time if God has his way. Sometimes it does seem ruthless the way God is so just in metting out punishment.

I want to melt under God’s saving grace! I am really quite a loser in actual fact. No doubt about it. And nopes I’m not being self-deprecating again. We’re all losers without God. We’ll be fighting life on the losing end, not living it. God please melt my heart and renew my love for you. I want to sign your name in here till I see you.

4) Praise and honour to God should be our 1st priority cos honour comes from honouring god.
Now, this is for people seeking honour. The truth is the reverse. Instead of seeking it, we flee from it. We transfer it all to God Almighty. Personal honour comes from honouring god alone. Like how can we honour god? U mean worshiping on Sundays and singing really loud with hands wide out??

No! It’s at all moments of our lives. The more shit we’re in the more we should honour God. God has the power to promote or demote. Just honour him and He’ll honour us in due time. Don’t strive for self-gratification.

-Don’t miss church on Sundays
-Following God’s Word (for businessmen they can do business, but they should do it properly, without being greedy for money for fame)
-Caring for the poor. In all societies there’s the divide. Rich scorn and despise poor. Poor abhor and hv contempt for rich. God loves the poor and needy. We must do the same too.

-----------------------------------------

I found this paper in my file. It’s written by Marianne Williamson, famously spoken by Nelson Mandela in his speech.

Our Greatest Fear

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,

but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous,

handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of

God within us.

It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine,

we consciously give other people

permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

Reflections after camp

2006-06-21T14:51:00.000+08:00

After PGA camp, so many things have been going through in my head.

Besides sleeping a lot a lot lot, I’ve been trying to READ my textbooks (history apparently) and also reflecting on the camp.

Right after I came back home that day, I just felt so tired, mentally. Not quite lethargic yet, amazingly, but drained. That’s no wonder actually, considering all the pumping and preparation before the camp and actually stretching from long ago…. Os Chinese, PGA interview, Proposal, prep for camp and logistics prep.

Then the camp came, which showed how unprepared I was, defies the rules of being the model guide. And yeah, made me feel so unworthy of being in this test in the 1st place. But it doesn’t matter, now that I’m in it, let’s just try my best. And yea I just had to humiliate myself a million times as usual and say the wrong stuff at the wrongest times… AS USUAL

But still the camp rocks!! I was so skeptical that campers can even LISTEN to instructions and sorely believed that we’d have rebellious, uncooperative, vulgar, manipulative abusive totally unskilled and have no common sense campers. The reverse happened. And so much of a reverse it was!

O man! Even the most optimistic person can never imagine how fabulous they can actually be!

Enthusiastic, hard-working, diligent, attentive, cheerful, united, uncliquish, loud, guai, unvulgar, smart, intelligent, and need I mention enthusiastic again? All bursting with helpfulness and also super understanding and oh so supportive!

They understood that we all wanted to do well for our tasks as we were in this camp being tested. And so every one of them tried their best to put in their best efforts during our task. We were explaining what we would be doing for our task and requested our expectations of them. Not only did they cooperate, they also were our cheerleaders!! “Danielle wo men hui zhi chi ni”
“we support u all”
“we want all of u to pass”

Such were our encouragement and morale boosters during the camp!

Not only were they helpful to us candidiates, they were also so bonded amongst themselves..

I was so surprised that they were already being competitive among patrols on the first day itself, right from the morning. Usually a cooperative normal group of campers would still take at least the whole day to settle in and build unity. But! Morning??! Unbelievable!

“haha our gadgets better than theirs! Ours strong than theirs! Our nicer….”

And they seemed to be so good friends already as they worked on their gadgets!!

Laughing and joking with each other.

And they are so sweet, and dora has been messaging me and calling me…

O well haha we’d a conference call from their school (they’ve a guides camp in their own school and they were feeling utterly sian). O well yi jun went off when I came on to bathe or something..

Aiyo then sharlene got her handphone confiscated cos they were caught using it at night. Sheesh I already warned them not to call me..

Ok anw, yeah I feel lyk a mother and at the end of the year I want to go back to Pat’s schoolhouse too to help them with the concert.
Haha juniors are so adorable!

2006-06-20T16:28:00.000+08:00

whoo! pga is really tiring and the standards are sooooo high

the camp was so fun i love all the darling sweeties guai enthu lovable campers!!!! They're the best ever anyone can ask for!!

It's the best camp i've ever had. and it's heartwarming to noe that they felt tt it's the best camp they went for too!!!

so everyone learns something and everyone benefits

Heck about passing or failing. It's not a big issue. failing means u dun hv to slog no more. passing means the race is still on, and u can hjz forget about studying for Os.

i love the campers! I love the fellow candidates!

I love Camp Shine!

Whee! O man I cant believe 8 people can organise a wonderful camp for all of us!

Oh yes and i slept like a log for 2 days, about half the entire day is spent snoring in my bed and the weather is so cooling!!

Thank god he left the rain till after the camp. Unfortunately the 1st day just had to rain and made things kinda screwed.

Yeah I'd so many regrets, so many flaws exposed. Was on the verge of being utterly demoralised, but there's no room for regret. Yea my initiative games weren't Guides Initiative enuf. N yea I had to find tt essential scouts webby rite after i came home. N yes I juz had to not know exactly how u shld organise a camp, and all teh duties and exact details of responsibilities.

But it's all over alr.

So yeah, let's juz move on with life

I gotta pick myself up and start getting back into the study mode after a couple of months focusing on pga.

Ah well, IF i ever get thru to BP, there's a whole load more of work to be done for the toughest and more "slaughtering" round

Whee! dora's nice to tok to! Congrats for being promoted!!

quite a few of the campers are really promising....I can juz see them getting pga in 2-3 yrs time, given the superb quality they alr are now

Gotta start studying! -hur hur then y am i still here-

I'm sleep deprived

2006-06-02T18:42:00.000+08:00

HMM, finally a long week ended.

i tink i muz be aging. Sing hun plucked off a totally nylon like strand of silver/whie/transparent hair behind my head. It's amazing, the whiteness of it amuses me. But o no! Does it mean i'm stressed? I dun want anymore white hair!

And my face is getting really pimply and oily and ugly. My ear is infected. Ughs are all these signs of stress/ lack of sleep?

Ok, i tink i will go for global day of prayer. 4th june, 7-10 rite?? sm1 please tell me where it's held at.

My proposal's still only half done.

I shall continue doing it after this.

I'm so touched that the rest of the guides are so encouraging! (: Really hope to get through the next round. I also want the sec 1s to have an enjoyable camp and hooe that every1 will pass. Else it'll be so damn sad.

but standards are so high! -moan groan-

hope my proposal's fine and that i'm on the right track.

I'm not even studying for Os yet la.

And there's massive amount of studying to do once i get down to studying. I'm getting behind already. So i need to study. But i'm tired. And i'm still not done with the proposal. And i have to figure wad other chapters are missing.

PGA takes up quite alot of time. Makes me feel more guidy, more into this CCA.

I like my group! We get along pretty well yay!

hope everyone will pass~!

so erms, i've this headache i bet it's due to my late nights. gosh later I'll catch up on sleep, then study tomorrow.

ugh. Hope everyone oso stay healthy and get rid of the irritating flu bug. And all hu hv headaches like me, will stop having such nuisances.

God look after your people please? (:

2006-05-23T09:32:00.000+08:00

I pray that at least half of us can get through this interview. It seems so unfair to give us different panels of testers as this would inevitably cause unequal standards of judgment to arise.

I cannot attibute the great circumstances for mine to anything else but God. There was no way in which I could have chosen my testers of course. Unfortunatly, the others had the evil tester... Well all we can do right now is wait for the results... Really want everyone to continue in PGA!

It'll seem so awkward when only some of us continue training and preparing and slogging for teh next round while the rest simply are made to call it a day.

From 10, now how many are we gonna have?

This elimination of guides who have their skills all honed up in preparation for PGA, now all seems wasted. It's unfair and sad!

Some who will be eliminatied have yet to prove their mettle. They have the capability to go even further if given the chance. Yet with a brush of fate* they'll have to let go of this award.

O god, please please please let more guides through.

Sigh the world is really unfair.

O no, I really dunno how I can pass the next 2 rounds.

PGA is so damn hard.

interview

2006-05-20T21:26:00.000+08:00

PGA round 1 was great!

It's not cos i studied alot or was smart, but cos God gave me good testers and good questions. Thank god!!! I was so happy when they were so nice to me. EVERYTHG WAS SO FUN!

I never knew that interviews can be so much fun!

IT was so not tense, we all warmed up to each other really quickly and became friends!! The RG people are so nice wahaha! yay! I made new friends!

thank god!

O no i forgot to get their hp numbers. They're just so nice!

Whee! I cant wait to work with them next time!

YAY!

2006-05-10T10:22:00.000+08:00

In my loneliness
You are there
To draw me back again
Into your care

Jesus I long for you
There is no one else
No one like you

----------------------------------
I like this song alot. For many days it kept ringing in my head, and then on Sunday they sang it... caused me to cry at altar call...

I’m pressing on the upward way
New heights I’m gaining every day
Still praying as I’m onward bound
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground

Lord lift me up and let me stand
By faith on Heaven’s table land
A higher plane than I have found
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground

My heart has no desire to stay
Where doubts arise and fears dismay
Though some may dwell where those abound
My prayer, my aim, is higher ground.

I want to live above the world
Though Satan’s darts at me are hurled
For faith has caught the joyful sound
The song of saints on higher ground.

I want to scale the utmost height
And catch a gleam of glory bright
But still I’ll pray till Heav’n I’ve found
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground

Psalm 25; God spoke to me!

2006-05-10T09:45:00.000+08:00

On Monday even though I was feeling so sleepy, I somehow had the determination to have devotion. I was wondering why I had this nagging feeling to read the bible.

God wanted to speak to me!

When i opened my small NIV bible, I started reading Psalm 25... And i immediately knew it was God specifically speaking to me. When I went to grab my life application bible and opened it, the veryy page was opened to Psalm 25 too!

Psalm 25

1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;

2 in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.

3 No one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame
who are treacherous without excuse.

4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;

5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.

7 Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.

8 Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.

10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

11 For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

13 He will spend his days in prosperity,
and his descendants will inherit the land.

14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.

15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.

17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
me from my anguish.

18 Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.

19 See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!

20 Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.

21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.

22 Redeem Israel, O God,
from all their troubles!

* Israel is used in context as a reference to the Christian church in the world today

Thank you o god for giving me this psalm!

I'm free! (like a chim) wahaha oops!

2006-05-08T18:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday in church we debated and discussed so much about the election.

Surprisingly enough, pastor didn’t complain about her constituency being hammered again wahaha!

Sigh, since this blog is public, I can’t post all my thoughts about the election, lest I say any politically wrong statements.

Anyway, I found the election to be more and more exciting as it drew nearer. SO SAD! I might not be able to vote in the next election IF it’s 4 years later. Really hope it’ll be 5 years later, then I can vote wheee! YAY! I want to vote! I’m surprised I’m even excited about politics… ah well lotsa people grew more interested due to the election.

Yesterday in church God spoke to us during altar.

What God said was so, well, to the point! It specifically meant me!

I really want to change my life completely. I need to repent and serve God wholeheartedly. I NEED to open my heart and STOP relying on myself. It’s difficult, even though I recognize this need.

Thank you God! I may not be very holy or wadeva! But still you speak to me and not leave me alone in silence. Thank you for verbally promising to take care of my enemies and to solve my problems. Felt so comforted when you said that. Just when I was feeling depressed. So Lord I leave you to intervene for me and I know that I no longer need to worry about what others say about me.

Haha! Reminds me of last week’s “God’ll whack those who try whacking us”. Yeah! So cool!

I think everyone will face the challenge of forgiving others. Right now I can’t bury anger or emotions, cos the Devil’ll make them resurface again. Just as you can’t hide evil as well as it is self-destructive.

Kk, from now onwards I need to study harder. Sigh which school to go to?? I’m so unsure of where I CAN go and SHLD go.
Ah well. Heck. Need to concentrate on PGA now.

2006-05-04T20:50:00.000+08:00

I'm just feeling alittle depressed. Perhaps I'll live a life of seclusion...

Gosh I just said that? Sigh I shouldnt.

K fine... "shouldn'ts" means having a guilt inside you.

anyways, I'm just tired. I guess that's why I feel down.

Even in my moodiness, the words of the verse/song started ringing in my head...

-seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness....

ok I should stop being self-conscious. As it was said...please god not men.

K i shall go have devotion... clearly in need of it.

Sigh this blog is irritating me. I just keep critiscing people, and things can get misunderstood. In terms of context and people referring to.

Sigh again.

Things just go horribly wrong. Yet right at the sam time.

Life is tough

yuan hao's post

2006-05-01T22:31:00.000+08:00

this was taken from yuan hao's latest post. Addressing my previous posts...

Thnx dude!

You rock! I'm so touched by your act of kindness and your heart for god.

It was also because of your blog that I got inspired to have this. Anyway thnx so much for helping! I'll trust completely in god!

BY THE WAY...

When I'd wanted to post this post for the first time just now, the com died. Just like what happened to you. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.........

-----------------------------------------

Hell shall not prevail to this post. It will shake hell and bring satan down with his strongholds altogether, crushing his plans and himself. This is because he played with the internet and stoped my previous post.

Don't play with my God.

You have been pushin hard. You have been trying decades and years to kick that habit, resist that temptation. You have tortured yourself, you had been under years of torment. You think you suck. And wads more, you have rededicated your life to Christ. Again, again, again.

God knows how hard you pushed, and God knows how useless it is. There are things in life you cannot handle, there are issues, habits, bondages, temptations that mere willpower and determination just fail us again and again. Everyday, you stare at the wall, thinking you are a born loser because your friends laugh at you, because you have this thing so hard to break, so hard to solve.

You are not a bond loser.

Because God created you in his image, and loved you so much. Although you have fallen short of the glory of God, he still gave you a way to heaven though Jesus Christ. It's not about how much you try, friends.

Some of you dedicate you life, rededicate you life over and over again at the altar. But everytime someone pricks you, you undo what God did in your life, and control the situation by yourself. Do you think it will work for the long run? Do you think it can change you? It's because of this u think u are a loser. I understand that. Because I had thought like that before.

For 14 years, attempts to break bondages, habits, temptations had been little to amount, until God came in and did a massive clean-up job in my life. Although God changed my life until so much, there are some times that i commit this burden to him, but undid it when the situation came, and i decided to carry it myself. Back to square one.

Everytime u face that temptation, bondage, habit, our natural human desire is to handle it ourselves, because we won't be totally sure of anyone except ourselves, and in other words, they are our lives! But what we should do is the unnatural. God is asking you to hand over this burden, anger, hatred to him so he could solve them for you. God is giving you his way, which will never fail us. But everytime that situation come, you reject God and carry on with your selfish way, only to end up thinking you are a loser.

And no matter how many times you dedicate, re-dedicate your life to God, if you block him out of your life, it will amount to NOTHING. Do you know even man can't control you, do you know that there are some things your human power cannot handle, even with the world helping you?
Don't think of how you are going to handle that problem. But think of giving God EVERY opportunity to handle EVERY thing in your life. Your life is limited. Let's do it quick. Let's save the time. Dedicate your life to Christ again. But this time, let him work in your life. Give him EVERY opportunity to work in your life. Remember that this time is not about you setting direction, and expect God to work. But it's letting God set the direction, then you and God working hand-in-hand. God's perfect plan for you never fails. Trust him.

2006-04-30T17:15:00.000+08:00

I ought to be studying now. But anyway I'll study in 5 minutes time

I was just thinking....

Am I a true friend to others??

Sigh it slowly hit me that another friend whom I thought was a friend doesn't treat me like one. It took eons for me to realise that. I can only conclude that I am terribly slow.

My 2nd disappointment.

The last time another friend didn't treasure our friendship and simply dumped me for others... well I forgave her pretty easily. In fact I didn't harbour any grudge towards her then. Amazingly. I can only say that it's what being a christian is like.

This time, the same kinda thing happened. Friends come and go. But some friends who go don't part very amicably.

But still, it's all part of life and part of God's plan for me. So I'll just accept and await what good will come out of this.

The last time, well it didn't end there and then..... Thankfully we patched up

Anyway. I feel very peaceful now. I love Jesus. And I love the peace that comes with having God's presence. You just gotta feel it to believe it. There is such a God. It's just that the faithless don't understand

I visited Casting Crown's webby just now. They touched so many people's lives. It's not just the music that attacts people. It has to be the impact- the life-transforming lyrics that determine how people love their songs.

anyway.. just ending off now...

-there're no perfect christians,

just forgiven ones-

blessing others

2006-04-30T15:13:00.000+08:00

Thanks Yuan Hao! You rock dude!

My last entry was on impulse. Pretty much a release of built-up frstration of being snubbed by a certain bunch of people in school. Of whom I used to be a really good friend to. Only that they don't realise it. So it's just too bad for them. Anyway I'll never stop being kind to them. Or at least I keep tryin to show love to everyone else.

Just like what Jesus did.

Like how he loves us though he hates our sins.

I don't hate my friends. I just hate their actions.

In fact i pity them alot. Cos everyone is accountable to God for their sins and God's hand will be upon he who hates his neighbour. [look at what happened to the Nazis who tried to eliminate God's chosen ones... they were destroyed, just like how it happened countless times to those against the Jews]

And I really pray that God'll be less harsh when He punishes them.

This was what today's sermon was on. Blessings.

We don't usually have this topic in church, less we err on the side of preaching too much on blessings and focus less on God but on the blessings we can receive from him.

Anyway. Today's message isn't just on blessing per se.

It's on blessing others instead of harbouring bitterness and hatred. It's easier to bless your enemies than to plant the seed of anger. Such malice only grows deep into the heart and penetrates into our spirit, causing it to be full of sin and wrath--totally unlike God's nature. Besides, people who are hurt usually continue inflicting hurt on themselves, seeking vengeance but ultimately bringing own's downfall.

There is power behind words of blessings!

definition:

to make whole by spoken words.
to ask divine favour for a situation
to make happy/prosperous
to gladden/ glorify with faith
to bring forth GOOD in a situation

** Blessings can change circumstances.

Jacob the conniving scheming deceiver stole his bro's birthright and claimed the blessings by devious means. But however wicked he was, it reflected his understanding of the importance of being blessed, hence he sought to obtain it. Whereas Esau failed to recognise his privilege and hence lost out it claiming his rewards.

~HOW MUCH DO WE LONG FOR GOD'S BLESSINGS? ~

** We can be blessings to others

Continuous railing and cursing ultimately twists the curses onto yourself. Hence the destruction of lives filled with bitterness

On the contrary, God will give us the same proportion of blessings that he gives to those we bless.

Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse

Actually I've already known this since long ago. That's why I try to hold back anger. But whether this anger was dissipated is a question.

Much as we would love to curse the enemies till we are fully satisfied, we shouldn't. Anyway, God will curse those who curse us.

Genesis 12:3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse
-->simply said, God'll whack those who dare lay a finger on us.

-----------------------------------

8Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

------------------------------------

We as Christians should bless.

We can make a difference to our surroundings. Out of nasty situations we can beautify them.

That's why I really want to bless others.

Hoarding up blessings is so wrong. Bragging about talents is worse. They were given to be multiplied and used to encourage and prosper others. Our eternal rewards are thus in heaven, not on earth.

2006-04-28T19:49:00.000+08:00

I suck lah. Wad else?

I'm juz a big sucker whom everyone loves to bully and manipulate and victimise and exploit. Juz a RESOURCE that is FOC and can be tapped on for energy and information and brain cells. So sickening

I hate myself

Wadelse

It simply boils down to myself.

Any grudge I bear is due to the folly of my nature. The submissive and susceptible inclination to falling prey to people's desires and wishes.

It's juz the wrong attitude to hate people. BUT IT'S SO DIFFICULT NOT TO HATE SOME PEOPLE. SO IMPOSSIBLE TO WISH THAT YOU CAN CURSE THEM. AND HOPE THAT THEIR FATE WILL BE TRAGIC.

Will they get their just desserts?

Will God really mete out to them wad they deserve? O gosh. But it's so evil to wish that "they can just go and die".

God is merciful ad loving and i really want to be like that too. I struggle with this so much it's tortuous.

I'm just an outcast, lyk DUH.

Who cares about me anyway. -i mean with the exception of some people-

But yeah, I'm to be tossed aside right?

-----------------------------------------

O gosh things aren't what I wished when I came into SC, full of hopes and aspirations.

I longed to escape from the horribly cliquish and political kinda class in primary school, only to find that my fears came true.

People just love to snub others. So that they'll feel good.

OK WAKE UP CHRISTINA. It's just those really few people who snub you. Why the heck are you so sensitive?

UGH

SHUT UP~! [that's to every voice in my head and every condescending statement forced down my throat]

SHEEEEESH

Fiona's right. I'm stronger than this. I know I'm made of real substance. Just not meted out nor unleashed. It's a sickening feeling knowing my potential is simply so wasted. I know I can achieve much more, but what I have gleaned in 4 years is so dismal.

Where's my leadership qualities I once was praised to have? All lost down the rubbish chute.

Am i just too egoistical. I think so. BISH. dun let your pride overcome your humility.

I'm worth more than this. But nothing happens to the substance. They're just dormant. Rotting. Hibernating within. Making me feel so cold and worthless ultimately.

I guess this is the result of 4 years of pent up frustration. I hate the way systems run. I want to change things. To share ideas and knowledge. To contibute ideas and creativity. I know I can do what many others cant. So I can help and improve the way things are.

But I'm just not recognised.

OR MAYBE..........

Is it my attitude?

I think I can deduce it's my cocky nature sometimes that led to such a "downfall"

Thus people hate me. Dont't they?

I'm not an over-acheiver, but is it because people are wreary of me cos they think I'm a threat? A nuisance that's better not touch. Just leave her ALONE

----------------------------------------

cool I'm reflecting so much

Much as i love all the blessings I have in life, I just dont feel very contented with status quo.

-----------------------------------------

Is this why I really want to help others? I really dunno.

But my yearning to help others is genuine. I want to relate information, just ANYTHING that can be to the benefit for others.

Some people help to have praises heaped upon them. To maintain their polished reputation.

But I know I have this spontaniety to help. Why don't people understand that?

I don't want treats or excessive flattery that comes with help. It's HELP, not FAVOUR.

-----------------------------------------

O well. Like yuan hao said about letting god give me direction for the prayer group and not fret about having no idea wad to do, well I shall do exactly that. I pray God'll speak to us and let us know how we should move on.

-----------------------------------------

I'm a C personality. and i Conclude that C people are hatable.

Living example here.

Sighing out....

randomness

2006-04-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

Hmm

Am I very "christiany"?

I don't think so.

U don't become a christian cos u are guai or what. That's so wrong. Equating that would mean that only good people get accepted by god.

But all Man are sinners and fall short of the glory of god.

--Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

The most prominent or influential christian may not be the most pleasing to God. It's the heart that counts.

God loves you. He doesn't love u BECAUSE u love him. BUT it's vice versa. U love god COS he first loved us.

--------------------------------

Yuan Hao's also starting a prayer group! YAY! It's encouraging when u're not alone.

I pray that our group will be strengthened in our faith and not just focus internally, but concentrate on reaching out too.

It's great having christian friends!

--------------------------------

I am so glad that God's answers my prayers for better results.

This year has shown a marked improvement YAY! O Levels, you will not ruin my life. I will conquer u with God's help wheeee!

--------------------------------

I must learn to love people more. Even the unloved is loved by Jesus. The greatest test of your love is to be able to love those hardest to love. I do hate alot of people. Think- who do we always complain about? And love to hear the misfortunes of. Who do we simply itch to curse? These are the best candidates for us to love. Without loving them, we dunno who God really is.

-----------------------------------

Sigh I really think i'm such a Big Born LOSER.

haha reminds me of suyi's cheer.

LOSER LOSER!

small loser BIGGER loser BIGGEST LOSER YOU!

Welcome to Loserland

Population ONE

YOU!

All in the Mind

2006-04-24T20:22:00.000+08:00

Willpower.

It's such a powerful word. Today during assembly we had Dr William Tan, who has numerous accolades to his name your jaw simply drops, gave a talk entitled "The ABCDEs of [Will -is it?... someone please correct me if I'm wrong]. I applaud Dr William on his remarkable achievements and his tremedous tenacity to fight on despite the towering obstacles faced as a disabled.

He managed to set the new record of competing in 10 marathons in 7 continents in 70 days! That's quite a feat!

He showed good and resilient Attitude, had Big dreams, Created an action plan, had Determination and Diligence which resulted in his Eureka.

I admire him, yes. I've nothing against such a guy who overcame adversities and leads an extraordinary life.

----------------------------------------

However. I am just against the whole idea of Motivation through Willpower.

Well being a christian, I rely on God. Oops. Correction. Try to at least. I admit lotsa times I fall out with God. But thank God right now everything's smooth sailing. Pretty much.

The thing is, everything is limited.

~Willpower is limited, but God's power is infinite~

We are full of shortcomings, hence it is really taxing to feed on the reserves of our own strength.

DESPITE having a strong Will.

Look, I do have a strong will too.

I dependED on my will to survive and get ahead. But IT'S not very, peaceful?, pushing yourself so that you can hit your goals. It's good to compete against yourself too, it's true that your biggest enemy is yourself.

Enough!

I know all I need for such motivation, to soar and dream BIG.

BUT. There's this refusal in me to accept anymore junk. Such overload of "you can do it!"

It's very draining on your mental strength.

Hence, the easier way I've found is to tap on GOD.

It's easier to say "I'm not strong enough. God have your way, not mine. Help me overcome this problem. I know you've the best future laid out for me. Please give me sufficient strength that I need (and I know you will).

It's easy to DERIVE strength from an external source, than to depend on words and internal strength.

God's promises last. Men's words are empty.

Matthew 24:35 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

I hope no one is offended by me. I just wish to say that my stand is against Motivational stuff and belief in Willpower. It's equivalent to placing your trust in yourself (MAN) than in God.

Something's gone wrong with the priorities don't you see?

Blessings n inheritance

2006-04-23T22:43:00.000+08:00

Today's sermon on inheritance from god

I must say that I have been blessed alot in my life

My studies especially.

I want to put my blessings to good use, to bless others. Hopefully the peer mentoring can help.

But my parents think i help or get involved in "unnecessary" stuff too much.

HOW???

If I am better in my studies, isn't it only right and well, showing love, to help others?

It's not that my studies are that great. It's just trying my utmost best to help. At the same time, when queries are put forward, I'll have to make sure I know my studd better, and thus understand the topics better.

I mustn't neglect what God has given me, and must remember his promises.

------------------------------

All whose exams are round the corner, GOOGOOGOGOGOOGOOOO!

Don't neglect your studies now!
Concentrate!
FOCUS!!!
FOCUS!!

DON'T think about games or shopping or erhem, all ur crushes and what not.

Don't have self-pity!

Stop deluding yourselves!

Don't feed yourselves with negative opinions

Just have sufficient preparation, focus all your energies on your subjects. Go for the topics! Shoot them down, one by one.

BUT DONT OVERWORK!!!

Please dont fall ill

If you do, PLS make sure you recover.

Get the best help

rest and sleep well too

----------------------------

Yup. conquer your worries and anxieties.

Maintain a good attitude.

God is always there to help you through (:

PHEW

---------------------------------

I hope everyone i know does well!

Go yvonne and zaw shane and kyensai and crez peeps

I love u Jesus, deep down in my heart

2006-04-13T17:33:00.000+08:00

DOES ANYONE KNOW THAT GOD ROCKS??!

Behind our class tee our fabulous class pins on the baby sock, cos "PE ROCKS YOUR SOCKS!"

BUT FOR GOD, I really dunno wad can be good enough!

About a mouth ago I was stuck in the ditch, dwelling amongst the jungles, lurking through marshy swamps, meandering along a tumultaneous path that was aching my spiritual bones, fumbling in the pitch dark, isolated in teh valley.

GOD AH! NOT EASY TO LIVE THIS LIFE SIA!

NEVERMIND. I've sworn allegience to you, I'll never let go. But God, u must give me more faith, I cant generate it on my own. Whoever who wants to SHOW that he/she is holy, will succumb to numerous temptations set by the devil.

THUS obviously, the point is that we cant make it on our own. Everything starts from God.

I wish I can proudly publicise God. I'm sure I'll proclaim it loud. Like hello, if you need help, He'll provide refuge. It's just a great great big pity you dunno him. So why not let this be the day, and join in this family.

I want to let God manifest in me. I want people to see how God can transform lives, both me and you. I want to shine for Him, but Lord, if ever I take credit for your goodness, please correct me God. I know it will be painful ouch.

Life isn't easy. DUH.

Everyone says life sucks.

I dun care. I dun agree.

God is so good. He made life so beautiful. Everydayis another day that I treasure. Everything happens for a reason.

I was dying for Amath not too long ago. Correction. I mena all the time. But suddenly, it's getting better. My acquantances are getting better. All relationships with people are so smooth sailing, and getting sweeter.

I love you God!

But not cos of this.

My subjects seem better, yup. After over a year of painstaking slogging over Amath and flunking all the tests, the clouds of mystery over these sums are clearing up! My QA WS were better. Although it's like such a small thing, but everything is a sign of better things yet to come.

NAPFA WAS GREAT. I thought I would die. Apparently not! YAY!

I rested more when I wasa sick, and yes I'm recovering. HAHA! I'm not "damn sick" anymore. It's just a bad throat that sounds real "seksay". BUT WADEVA. I love to talk. Yup!

I love to talk.

so much I think it'll be a real test if it's stripped away from me. gosh. shudder.

tommorow's Good Friday.

Lord thank you for taking the cross though you had a choice. I love you God. More than anything.

~More than worldy wealth

More than life itself

I love you Jesus

More than anything~

What's my problem?

2006-03-06T17:57:00.000+08:00

Doing Maths makes you stressed.

I get stressed easily boo :(

I always look like I'm going through a battle, with a cucumber face peering into the eyes of others.

-Peering, but not feeling; looking, but too weary to observe-

I dunno what's the big problem with me.

I suffer from all sorts of disorders

-inferior complex
-more inferior complex
-paranoia
-insecurity
ok I SEE HOW I'M HEADED --> basically I've little self-worth and low confidence...

I also suffer from obsessive complusive disorder....Over I dunno what, can be anything. And I think inside me I really have such little confidence that everything stems form there.

I try to prove myself in many sorts of ways. I give myself pep talks that I myself NEVER believe them. (what's e point of trying to drive yourself when you're in disbelief over what you think?)

When I run for sports day I KEEP lagging behind. But I've taken that in my stride, it's not a big deal. As long as my purpose is to run for God and the class, all else doesn't matter.

YAY YAY! I think a prayer group will naturally form in SC somehow, probably towards the Os...

Even though I'm not top 8 for 1.5, but the unrigorous training helps, mentally too. It's not easy dragging yourself to the trac almost every morning to jog. And it's worse when everyone who knows about it go "HAIYO! So extra" kinda thing.

YAH, somehow I feel I have trained mself mentally too, to be stronger, to be more disciplined. Hopefully this is a steppnig stone to becoming more focused for Os.

I want a scholarship!

I don't want to make my parents pay so much for IB school fees. If I cant get to IB, I can always go to NJ or RJ. But still, I prefer the diploma to As.

BUT HOW TO GET 6 points?!!!!!!

My standard academically is dropping consistently.

AND HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL EVERYONE I'M NOT A GENIUS? There's no such thing as genius. It's just differing talents or different quantity of talents. There's nothing to be envious of

---What crap am I talking man. I realise I always tell people really good positive words, yet to me they're redundant, cos I don't practise what I preach. What a hypocrite---

I'll study hard this year. I must get my A1s. God please don't let me down. I know you never fail me. <-- this is tried and proven, not merely copying others' words. (:

relationship with god matters

2006-02-27T22:21:00.000+08:00

I'm probably trying to indirectly rebutt people and their mindsets here, whch is what I probably do all the time/have been doing. Sheesh, people please tell me if all these constant "rebuttals" really bore you....

When I first came to SC, I was so happy that there were many Christians. Yeah right. It's really demoralising realising that a large percentage of such Christians are merely passing off as Christians as their religion. All on the superficial, nothing penetrates their hearts. Like, WHAT'S THE POINT MAN?!

Christianity is about having lives changed, and the basic principle is the RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. Without the relationship , you can pretty much count yourself a stranger to God. Such LUKEWARM christians around. It's no wonder that my own love for God can so easily get diluted with all the negative influences. What a waste. It's basically a really small minority in this school who do have the passion to serve God. Actually, it appears to me that several other schools with many Christians also have very few REAL Christians in reality.

Revelation 3:16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

I'm not trying to promote fanatism. If you think that I'm a fanatic, well to each his own opinion. I guess I can't force you to change your mentality. It's just sad that to be strong for God happens to invite mockery. OH WOW

----------------------------------------

I think society forces us to practice double standards. It's really very telling on our characters. And I beleive it stems from insecurity, but I shan't delve into that. But anyway, who are we to judge others? Who are we to deem ourselves higher than others, and thus dao everyone whom is not eligible for your exclusive network of cool people. That's so wrong. Even more so if you're Christian and you treat fellow Christians that way. Those who judged shall be judged anyway. Be warned. We're all equal in the body of Christ.

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Hmm, how can going to church be a chore? When you seriously love God, it'll be in your agenda to go to church. In fact that should be the no. 1 appointment. But then again, sadly it's what I feel, not what happens in actual fact. On the contrary, it's basically, "wow, you have no life, being such a holy holy person. In short, YOU SUCK." --> It's what I do experience, sadly. Whatever, in God's eyes, I dun believe I suck just because I love Him. Sermons are boring meh? If they're boring, it simply means that our hearts aren't reeptive to God's Word. Basically that's it really. Sermon = God's Word. God's Word does refreshes. Just have a ready heart to receive.

----------------------------------------

Songs. Hmm, this is just a small thing I'm bringing up. Just a warning to us if we focus too much on the music instead of the meaning. The most boring worship hymm can carry so much significance. It's just like Rhema, the living Word of God. The tune, beat and lyrics of the song aren't important. God see the heart, not the "niceness' of the song we sing.

----------------------------------------

Lastly, oh man I really want to start a fellowship group in SC! It'll bond us together and unity brings strength. It'll be a great way to keep us focused on God as we study together and striving to get our distinctions for Os. Must pray about this! Yeah!

Today

2006-02-25T23:58:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday today!

But anyway I didn't celebrate it in any way. All I did was the things one should never do on your birthday, especially when you're free... DIDN'Ts I didn't go out I didn't have a cake or strudel I didn't exactly have a sweet sixteen. Some people go all out to celebrate this special coming-of-age I didn't watch an NC-16 movie I didn't go out again I didn't have that song sung to me DIDs I studied I went for tuition I read the papers I went for guitar lesson I did my Emath homework I did my Amath homework I did them during the spare time during tuition too I slept to regain the loss of sleep, hopefully eradicate some wrinkles, prevent hair loss and pimples

This must be the biggest JOKE. RIGHT?
So, how do i feel?It's probably retarded to say this, but I found my day okay. It isn't like i'm really that insociable and am the biggest nerd on Earth that I don't go out to legally watch an NC-16 movie. Heck.

Just that I didn't manage to. That's all. I'll just celebrate it with the rest next week. Besides, next week is super slack and the best time to slack.

Why no cake and all with family? Hmm it's weird. But I just didn't feel like doing the conventional celebration that seems like such a forced routine. In fact I feel less tied down by breaking conventions. HAHA! In fact I feel as though I’m setting down some symbolic thingy by being hardworking on my birthday. As though this is my personal benchmark, that I shall start life afresh again living with purpose and meaning, focusing on my studies for my Os.

-wth I’m supposed to get 6-7 points!-

-> that’s based on the school’s expectations based on my PSLE score plus the value-added aspect…

Ahh wadeva. I shall study hard this year. I know God’ll work everything out.

this week

2006-02-25T23:56:00.000+08:00

Wahahaa! On this day 16 years ago, another of God's creation was born to this world. This week is a really taxing one, that deguts your brain cells and brings your stress levels to an all-time high. Okay, i'm probably exaggerating.

What shall i talk about now?

-Sports Day
-File
-God as a Genie
-Class Spirit
-Today
-Rumours/my paranoia (also a sign of insecurity)

Two days ago was 200, 400, long jump heats at Toh Payoh. Apparently it never registered in my head that I was suppoed to run for that event (400), so of course didn't train for it.

Whatever. I kinda ran not too good for it. Hmm, but never mind.

Pei Wen U ROCK! Ran so fast! I mean, both of us don't run that fast, but hey, that means God was helping you run that race that well! JIA YOU! We'll train together? Don't lose your steam! You're running for the class man! Go PE! Wahaha! Bag more points hoh on sports day! Hmm, apparently, I ran too fast from the start, thanks to my not very good pacing... And yea I freaked when people started overtaking at the bend.

Haha, when Pei Wen and the rest were cheering me on, I was like, jumping and shouting "Go PE". Cos right, when you run, it's not for personal glory. Aiyoh that would be so self-centred.

Hmm, After I ran so slowly, I was wondering whether it was due to my lack of faith to completely trust in God. HMM.

But anyway, so cool, we were praying before the race!

In SC it's quite rare to see people openly praying.

Speaking of which, the last time we passed by some seniors praying all in a big group in the Gallery. I think, if I'm not wrong, it was before they received their Os Results... It’s pretty heart-warming to see SC girls praying and having devotion together.

It's the kinda thing most people are shy about. We're shy to admit we're Christians. Or even if we're not, we always make it seem as though it's just another religion. We're all the same, just with different religions --> my point here meaning we try to appear worldly and happened to be stuck in this religion that is just fixed to us on paper. Instead of living a Christian life, it happens that most people who claim to be Christians, just attach a label to them and don't give a damn what it really means to be one. Worse still, it's all the lukewarm Christians who are causing pain to God.

How would you feel if your children are ashamed of you, and have no regard for your concerns, and don't dare acknowledging being your child? How would you feel if your child disregards your love?

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After running around that track, we kinda just made our way out quite immediately. Outside was ice cream waiting for me, plus the opportunity for me to lose my file boo. With the lactic acid stuck in my legs, and carbon dioxide clogged up in my lungs, I bought my fattening ice cream and forgot that I’d left my file at the stall. UH OH!

(Thank god 1) Fortunately I met Mei Ying, else I would have taken the much longer route via the MRT to go home. The bus was so much faster, much to my amazement!

(thank god 2) I realized my file was gone only after getting down from the bus. Thank God Pei Wen was at Toa Payoh. Thanks Pei Wen for being such a kind soul to run about for me… I felt so bad sitting at home, while you helped me…You’re really a blessing form god (:

(thank god 3) The previous night I spent some time packing my file, bringing to school only things needed for the day. Hence the loss was not too great, though my NYAA booklets were really precious…

Guess what? Yesterday my file found it’s way back to me!! Yay!! The ice cream man passed it to Chia Wen to return it to me. PHEW!!

~~You know what, somehow I kinda knew that I would get back my file. While I was worrying over the loss of my worksheets, tests papers and what not… I had this assurance that they are not lost! Instead of really feeling flustered, I was still kept calm and cool when Pei Wen could not find that file at all. I left it to God and knew that all would go fine. As usual. As He always does. That’s how powerful trusting in God is. Everything will work out.~~

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Someone was saying that praying to god was like praying to a genie. Actually that the sentiments shared by many Christians.

It’s not about having really nice prayers, meaning saying a flawless one that is full of bombastic words and well said verbally. This isn’t an Oral Exam. God doesn’t judge your words, even if others may, HE sees the heart. When we pray, it’s really just dialogue between us and God. There’s no criteria set for can pray. Even if you don’t feel this God, I urge you to trust in Him, to have the courage to place your faith in him. You have to take this step of faith. What it means to be a Christian is to have a relationship with god. That is the basis of it all. God isn’t a genie. He is your Creator.

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Heh heh. I think I shouldn’t be discussing this since class spirit is something spontaneous and intangible. Putting it down in words makes it regimented. But anyway, I just wanna say that we don’t have it naturally. You create it. It’s up to us to build on each other’s strengths and to forge a common identity of 4PE ’06 together. It’s very discouraging to have some people totally unbothered to be involved in the class. Very depressing to have to squeeze participation out of the certain few. Very demoralizing always having to drill into people’s heads of deadlines and priorities of the class. It drains every bit of strength left in those who want to make the best out of the opportunity that we’re put together in a class.

WE HAVE TO UNITE 4PE!

evaluations, reflections. =D

2006-02-21T19:54:00.000+08:00

I AM SOOOO NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE

this week is supposedly a bit stressful, ok, quite, or very. Anyway, I'm here to thank God for helping me in my studies.

So far everything seems smooth-sailing. Academically, tick. Guides, tick. Socially, tick. Spiritually, tick. Relationships (with everyone in general), tick. Emotionally, tick.

Hmm. WOAH. I didn't realise until NOW that life has been really good. Usually everything collapses in a heap, or I'll be lacking in something or unsatisfied with some aspect. All the more I should be here then.

HAHA! I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!

-how fickle- tsk

hmm i'm supposed to be studying now. Never midn this shall be short and sweet.

I want to thank GOD for so many things.

Academic- Pretty good results. I thought I was supposed to hv died in chem last year, but surprisingly for the past two tests both were passed with flying colours. YES! -finally-
Physics test was good. Not as high as it could have been of course, but still really qutie high. Hmm, now i gotta mug really hard for the next few tests and maintain the high scores, lest everything plunges when we go further into the S4 syllabus which is well known to be the killer.
Literature has been fine. I doubt I'll do well for the previous assignment since I had a huge mental block and felt absolutely no inspiration or flair to write. (what a contradiction) But still, Lit should be fine, judging by how I've been giving respones in lecture. (which erms i bet made me the real enemy of the other classes cos of my chalking up of points for 4PE)
Emaths is good. Even though I didn't do that well, not as well as the others, it's already really good, so let's just be contented. Thank you God for giving me the drive to pay attention in class and to do all my homework. Bascialy, it's good.
Amaths is GREAT! AMAZINGLY! I'm finally starting to see some hope for Amath, after going through a whole tiresome year of terribly dismal results that mar all expectations for good results in Os. I can grasp whatever Mrs Tan teaches, and can keep up with everything. (actually, she's too slow, we need to be faster!~ Else we'll never need to do our Os at this rate)
SS is still not good. Oh man. I really need to score. Somehow, which equals to GOD you need to help me. Else I'll just die for SS.

GUIDES

It's the best miracle that I'm doing PGA. Another MIRACLE we have MS NG. The most valuable and precious teacher ever. But how everything turns out is still a mystery for me.

Socially.

I tell you man. This is one area I'm forever fluactuating in. boo. sigh. But this year really blows me away! God has helped me make more and better friends. And how people relate to me, is simply, spectacular. Sometimes I wonder if the events that take place are really true. But yes, I really owe this to God... You cant buy friends. You can't make really good friends if everything's based on popularity or cuteness, or sweetness. There has just got to be the genuinity and sincerity that build the foundation like a firm rock, and later establishes mutual trust and lasting friendships. Making friends is to know the other person's character inside out, to accept the person's flaws, as well as to celebrate their achievements and qualities. Loving your friends means not being jealous of them! You aren't being a true friend if you're always envious of your friends... One good way to test yourself is just to be conscious of your thoughs, and what you say to them when they have something better than you.

SPIRITUALLY
I can't say i'm proud of myself reading the bible more now, since it's something that still isnt quite fixed in my schedule. I find myself telling god all the time that i'll compensate the skipping of devotion. BUt at least now I really want to have quiet time every night. In fact, whenever I don't read for a few days, the spiritual level goes down. In other words I'm dependant on God's Word for sustenence. Which is GOOD

Relationships. Hmm alot to comment on this aspect. With teachers it has been good. With family also good. With my brother I think our relationship has jump by leaps and bounds. With really good friends it has been amazing, "it just gets better"! With God I have no need to fear! YAY! Can see God guiding my path. I wish to have to good lasting relationship.......

Emotionally still coping well. Hmm. Yeah I think with strength from God my mental capacity increases too.

That's what I can say for now.

Have to study hard for chinese, chem and ss now!

Thinking Day

2006-02-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

Not bad day today.

But my firelighting wa sa total embarressment. Or at least from my point of view.

But I always like meeting people at the stadium. Heh Heh!

When Danielle and I went to the centre to take picture of suyi receiving 2nd Coy's PNA Award,we surprisingly met Debbie there. While running around the stadium we met the nanyang guides. Whee so sweet to meet them! Gee NYGH sitting diagonally across us ie. furthest away plus hidden by all those banners.

Could NV find Chai Yi though. I spend the whole time starinnig my neck to find people...Must have embaressed myself as usual. But then again, if i don't feel embarressed, am I really embarressed? WAHAHA!

I must do well for Os.

To all out there. I am not bosting sia... Rather to motivate myself to really hit those targets.

Eng a1
Cl a2
EM a1
AM a1
Chem a1
Phy a1
lit a1
c hum a2

Something looks wrong. It's too much of a dream. OI CHRISTINA instead of saying dream on, just work at it k?

Yea

2006-02-12T00:52:00.000+08:00

HEY peiwen i loved ur pencil parable... hope u dun mind me borrowing it here to spread it...

This is from Peiwen's blog...

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

In the beginning, the Pencil Maker spoke to the pencil saying,"There are five things you need to know before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and you will become the best pencil you can be." The Pencil Parable You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand.

# " # " # " # " # " # " # " # " # " # "

First: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but this is required if you are to become a better pencil.

Second: You have the ability to correct any mistakes you might make.

Third: The most important part of you will always be what's inside.

Fourth: No matter what the condition, you must continue to write. You must always leave a clear, legible mark no matter how difficult the situation.

Fifth: The pencil understood, promising to remember, and went into thebox fully understanding its Maker's purpose.

# " # " # " # " # " # " # " # " # " # "

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you; always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be. You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

# " # " # " # " # " # " # " # " # " # "

One: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

Two: You will be able to correct mistakes you might make or grow through them.

Three: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.

Four: On every surface you walk, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to serve God in everything.

And Five: Everyone is like a pencil... created by the Maker for a unique and special purpose.By understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart and a relationship with God daily.You were Made to do Great Things!

~Just because He lives

I can face tomorrow

Because He lives

All fear is gone

Because I know I know

He hold the future

And life is worth the living

Just because He lives~

How am I to make the most out of this year?! I need change and direction. i want to touch people's lives and be humble this year

2006-02-11T23:37:00.000+08:00

--Was reading yh's blog...
this was my comment...

Lotsa people get immuned to the materialism prevalent. We keep thinking that it's working adults who're trying to establish careers who are the ones chasing after the cliched 5Cs. It's actually just a representation of what people crave for at each stage of life, slogging our guts out for the coveted deal or what not.
Basically almost everyone is moulded into an environment that drives us to keep running around the track, in circles, aimlessly. And yet we criticise "others in this world" who are power-hungry or hoarding up wealth on earth, without reflecting that the "other people in this materialistic world" are us.

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Training today at NY was good again. I love nanyang... so much more down to earth to me... Standards are higher too... Learn more too...

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I want to fufil so many things this year. How ah?

8 pts O Level
PGA
Devotion everyday.
Bring people to christ
plus plus...

sigh

Os Results Today

2006-02-10T23:23:00.000+08:00

I died for my Emath test... but nvm I shant dwell on that.

Guides was hmm, a bit down... the mood wasn't too good...

But we did craftwork. The choocolate flowers thing, and the japanese dolls which were quite cute

After taps we cleared the classroom and chatted in the guidesroom. Ms Ng had so much to tellabout the time she studied in Japan! All those beautiful rice paper! I would also want to collect them if I could.

---------------------------------------

I'd so badly wanted to kaypo for the Os. This year SC did qutie well yay! SIGH i so wanted to go and soak in e atmosphere of elation and joy, and congratulating the seniors, and seeing them cry tears of joy. Though of course some would not do that well sigh

I want to do well this year! I want to be so happy i cry too. I want to exceed my targets and seemingly impossible expectations. Ahhhhhhh!

But when will i start studying ro pumping? I'm still way too lazy. O Levels still is a distant reality that will someday plunge, not sink, in.

HAIZ I went home quite late today...

And i bought KimB's present already... YAYYYYY!

My b'day's comnig soon, but i dun feel it coming yet tho sigh

Oh wells wadeva

I hope I can manage my time well

Dies... PGA... oh wells, hope i can pass

Oh No

2006-02-09T00:46:00.000+08:00

Oh dear! I so wanna blog but I just dont have the time to do so!

This year i must turn to god everyday, cos life seems so arduous to go through now....

Rock on 4PE!

Whirl of Events

2006-01-31T18:03:00.000+08:00

So many things have happened. I'm still in a daze to list them out. Cant really coherently sort out my thoughts right now. For ages I have left this blog stagnating, but it's still against my wishes. I bet no one really reads it anyway. Full of rantings, reeking of lacklustre sobriety, and dull commonplace postings. Oh whatever.

But bottomline is this. We just have to read the bible, whether we're up or down. It's essential to be fed our daily spiritual food. If you're feeling empty, what other excuse have you got not to pray? If you're on a winning streak, as in, everything is going uphill, all the more you owe it to God and ought to thank him for his blessings.

Filial piety. It's a virtue linked to the ancient chinese philosopher Confucious. But it actually dated way back to the time the Law was set and documented onto the two tablets recording the 10 Commandments. (no 5 says to Respect your Parents, and it also comes with a promise of a blessing of long life.) By the way, in this context, long life doesnt mean long, miserable life but a fufillnig one. Helloooo, it's a reward.

--> Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

I think I must have gone through a see-saw of raw emotions. But I thank god that He has kept me going reading the bible regularly, something that I could never have imagined committing to every day. So much so that I love devotion, I actually look foward to pushing aside other commitments when it comes to devotion. It makes you fall in love with the bible and God more and more.

Just to note. Reading other christian books should not replace the reading of the bible. FOr example, reading of the Purpose Driven Life is good, but it should complement the actual scriptures. In fact, Rick Warren's bestseller book is heavily bible-based; it's a good way to kickstart a daily bible-reading if we've never started.

Christians cannot be superstitious. We shouldn't be hanging the red cloth or those kinda decorations that are meant to be auspicious items that welcome in fortune. I'm not trying to dilute the culture, but just reinterating what Pastor Lim said; that we don't endorse such luck or prosperity things that these items promise to bring.

I still can't get into the study mode for this year. Lord please help me. Well I need to focus on studying now, but I know that if i commit these anxieties to God, He will constantly help me destress and keep a cooler head. Ultimately, I'm sure my results will be God, of course! I've God pennnig my story!

I am sorry to anyone whom I've hurt with my words this year. The tongue is such a vile object that lashes out with claws if not careful. I want to bless others, and not to hurt anyone. I want to be a lighthouse for others, and love everyone without all thes bias. It's painful to think that use the very tongue to sing people's praises at times, and yet can still be so evil at others.

Purify my heart God. Cleanse me with each renewed day.

First day of new year, eve of eve of sec 4

2006-01-01T22:45:00.000+08:00

I was afraid, maybe I still am... BUT I shall pray that God'll change my fearful heart to one of hope, anticipation, faith that this new year will be totally for Him, and rock!

If God is with me, who can be against me!

Fear God not man, makes life simpler.

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I didn't know that some people whom I naver expected to come here, do read my blog.... But i do wonder for what purposes heh.... [kaypo?]

-- If i'm refering to you, you might just know who you are haha....

Oh wells.

Whatever for now!

I'm gonna be a despo like yuan hao. MIND YOU. Desperate for souls! Not the other meaning hee (:

IT's gonna be a year of changed lives yeah!

28th Dec 2005

2005-12-30T20:09:00.000+08:00

the OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL day. yeah.

What else can i say?

My happiest day?

eeks i hate that word.

Well I was really high... that's for sure...

If only the date's 25th dec; will be more special by a mile haha!

--------------------------------------------

1 thing for sure I REALLY NEED to rely on God else I think I WILL FLUNK N DIE.

What ever it is, next year is dedicated to God and Him only.

CHRISTINA DON'T SIDETRACK OK!

I should wear horse's blinkers. Look straight. Think straight. Be focused. There's power in a focused life.

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Willpower. That's a lie. It's what keeps you full of pride and refuels one's belief that positive thinking in oneself can harness a firm and steady stronghold in success. It also is the sinister silent stealthy manipulative slayer of reliance on God. The bible practically screams out "god loves YOU"! All we gotta do is confess that we cannot do it alone and that we just have to accept that God loves us regardless of how fantastic or despicable we are.

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Ok I cant spend too much time blogging already.

Gotta study soon. I mean now. ciao

A Brand New Year Ahead

2005-12-28T10:04:00.000+08:00

I've yet to blog about Pastor Marion's message about The Origin of Faith.

Anyway, I'll just cover it briefly...

-there're 2 types of faith, natural and biblical.

-the most important thing to note is that, faith stems not form within, but it's source is GOD
-thus faith comes from hearing
--> Romans 10:17: Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
there! hearing teh WORD OF GOD, from the bible.

-pointless to have a blind faith if you don't read the bible and pray.

-only with a prayerful life, then can we have a more intimate relationship with Yahweh.
-->Hebrews 11:1: Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
(this hope has 2 levels. The worldly sense of the word implies uncertainty, wishing only; while biblically it deals with divine promises, this hope is assurance!

We've 2 kinds of biblical hope.
1) eternal life
2) the Second Coming of Jesus
~these are what we know for sure will come to pass, the only uncertainty is the time of fufilment.

---------------------------------

Amazingly, God keeps giving us trials till we PASS. He doesn't demand a distinction. Just as long as we pass His tests, He'll be pleased. And even though we fail, He'll keep putting us to the test just so because he wants us to pass!

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If we have a lack of faith, it's because of little understanding.

**Isn't this a common problem we all face??

^thus gotta read Bible regularly, daily.

----------------------------------

However! It's possible to not have faith despite reading the Bible

Faith only arises by REALLY knowing the Word.

LOGOS VS RHEMA.
(written word of God VS specific word of God to specific person addressing a specific situation)

Logos is simply the intellectual knowledge.
Rhema is what we receive fr God; Him speaking to us, thru a particular verse.

Hence, faith specifically comes by hearing the Rhema. the Logos is simpyl material for us to turn it into Rhema.

Only when we're hungry for God's voice, then can we receive Rhema, hence prayer is an essential key to complement the Rhema.

==========================

Having "lectured"/regurgitated all those stuff, my point is that this message really sparked in me my committment to God to read His Word daily. It always strikes me that I don't know Him and His words enough, hence facing a stumbling block when my faith is put to the test.

==========================

Anyway, I'd bought one book not long ago. And this pastor said this when asked to sum up Christianity in 10 words.

We're ALL BASTARDS BUT God loves us anyway.

man!

2005-12-23T09:52:00.000+08:00

no one came. as in both of them couldn't come. And the others either couldn't invite, or perhaps their friends also didn't come.

Ended up with a terribly pathetic, all-time low number of 7.

Yeah, nothing too exciting or anything, pretty much how a normal fellowship was. Sigh.

Oh man I love the dog Eric gave me so much, so much, so much, so much!

It's super soft!! And cute! And furry. AND hah, it has the tag "Year of the Dog".

I brought it along (of course) to the adult cell where the kids there played with it haha. This girl Nicole loved it alot; I felt really bad asking her to give it back to me when I had to leave.

Anyways, yay my dog has a name!

the kids gave it a few names which i simply strung together --> spotty-john-punggol

Sheesh what a name.

Punggol also means swamp. Hur

Tomorrow! YAYYAYYAYAY! praise God!

2005-12-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU JESUS!

And I thought that you might not intervene this once. ME of lil faith. What an idiot I am!

I wondered whether anyone would accept to come. Since I've faced quite a few rejections before. So as usual I anticipated all the "I'm sorry but I can't make it/ My parents won't allow".

So when YX and YZ agreed to come today... I was exhilarated! Anyways just wanna thank you Lord!

Now now, there're 2 more events coming up... still gotta pray some more adn have faith.

Lord please make today's Christmas celebrations eventful and fun...plus plus...

And this goes to the other home fellowship groups too.

Tata!

Stress Piling Up

2005-12-17T13:09:00.000+08:00

I think it's my fault that I cause myself to get stressed. Since primary school I have expereinced the devastating (what shall I say) effects/process of stress that inevitably leads to depression. I'm obviously refering to healthy stress mind you.

~Anyway debaters who like to argue that healthy stress is good for you, fine I rest your case. But to me, I ponder upon the likelihood/ what are the slim chances of having healthy stress? Stress doesn't only happen in Singapore (for those who love to blame the government and your homeland that everything bad is somehow sparked off and confined within the boundaries of our blue waters), it happens in Korea, Hong Kong, anywhere and everywhere. More often than not, demoralised people fall into the web of self pity and have suicidal thoughts. It's not that common that everyone anchors stress down to purely for motivational purposes only.~

~Motivation is unreliable. Excellent effort if you manage to keep up with your goals and also religiously follow motivation catchphrases found in posters. But for me, I prefer sticking to my God thank you (: ~

Anyway, after talking all the above which falls into the "round about the bush- digressing- deviating" classification, all I'd wanted to comment on was that I'm starting to feel the creepy crawly ambassadors of stress nudging me, prompting me to fear, instead of motivating me to study harder and to actually start studying again.

All due to the O Levels that hits so many students round the globe annually, like a ritual, and producing it's fruits of the harvest in its "annual reports" encased withing the grades encripted within the pieces of papers students await to receive, and some anticipate to having embellished theirs with laminations or what not of all sorts.

Whatever. In the end, these grades still don't account for anything much in life. It's just a detractor I presume.

Whatever the case, I still need to do well. And before that I need to get my heart right before God. Only God can help me study ceaselessly; tried and proven. -stamp!-

Refresh My Heart

2005-12-17T12:50:00.000+08:00

For the past few nights I've been suffering from insomnia, basically sleepless and restless nights. This coupled with the fact that I don't dare to get out of bed for fear of being scolded by my mum who is truly a light sleeper. Thus I tried to endure and of course have experimented countless methods to get me to dreamland. While in bed I told myself that once I find myself finally in dreamland, I must cheer with all enthusiasm for having accomplished this arduous task of lo and behold, sleeping. Oh WOW.

It was PAINFUL. Tossing and turning about in bed in the dark, in solitude, in the silence except for the ticking clock reminding me that time is flying away. It's mentally and physically draining. Perhaps that's why they call it Beauty Sleep.

Some ways that I tried were running "sleep sleep" like a mantra though my head, hoping that such repetition would soothe the anxious mind and lull me into a state of elapsing into the other dimension of sleep. It didn't work.This was coupled with the attempts to blank my mind, fill it with pitch-blackness, and hopefully I would surpass this realm of existence in bed. [OH GOSH it JUST hit me. Isn't this somewhat like mediation?! No wonder the attempts didn't work.]

The other thing I tried was praying. Breath prayers rather. Just simple frantic crys to let me sleep, and have some rest.

All these indignation culminated to breaking point. It didn't help that I kept looking at the time, worry amounting in creases across my forehead, and my body hotting up to the ill effects of not recuperating in sleep. [not sleeping prevents body cells to be renewed, inclusive of skin cells, thus accounting for unnecessary pimples raiding the face.

That Did It.

I finally broke off my stubborn ways of insisting to sleep through chanting the sleep mantra, or listening to music, or trying to read to get sleepy, or the worst of all, praying but not really expecting. I'm so guilty of making God my Genie. From requests to pleading, of course God'll have enough of me always wanting my way.

Anyways, it dawned on me.

Finally.

-there's a purpose to every situation. It's not everyday that you lie in bed till 4 or 5 am and still waiting earnestly to be found in a place where dreams can snipe you.

Christina started to pray. As in, really pray, not the "God please just let me sleep and blah" request. I talked to God again, and confronted myself.

This is a wake up call! Literally. Except that I did not even start to fall asleep in the first place.

For how long can I stand being so far and distant from God? My heart has been drawn far away, hardened and cooled through time. How it happened stumps me. Perhaps this is a REALLY LONG TRIAL since I still haven't submitted myself completely to God. Being aware of a trial is one thing, scraping through it another, and passing with flying colours the best of all. There's no point drifting through trials like a piece of wood. You only get soaked, stagnate and rot. That's just an illustration of how your spiritual being will simply rot away in the short timespan of our existence on earth.

I grieved. I mourned. For my hardened heart.

For not a moment longer am I willing to not be immersed in the Holy Spirit. Being away from God is the most lonely circumstance ever. People can be hermits and keep other men at bay. But it tears my heart to not feel God anymore. Well it's not good to depend on feeling God only, but I think I'm quite desperate already. This is getting too draggy.

Trials are meant for you to seek God, not just to be roadblocks imposing on our lives.

Saddened by my hardened heart, with the realization I prayed, but no longer with that flame that once burnt bright and clear.

~~I must get back to reading the bible. My devotions are erratic, as terrible as this scorching weather nowadays. Only through more frequent and sincere devotions can I grow in spiritual maturity, serving God and others instead of myself.

But anyway, thank God for always touching my heart, speaking to me especially when i most needed it. And I only just realised yesterday that Jehovah (Yahweh) is such a loving living God. He comforts me and always plant a song in me whenever I am down. However I think I prefer to have verses fresh in my memory all the time to guide me through.

Two songs that impacted me yesterday were Instrument to Praise. [WE are ALL witnesses for God, and the older song Let the Peace of God Reign. I confess I quite dislike the latter, it sounded so slow, melancholy, hum-drum and booooring.

Come to think of it, I'm glad that I'm concerned with my relationship with Jesus. If I never cared, I'm definitely going to backslide.

By the way, IRRITATING DEVIL is forever tryin to steal my thoughts! Well can't be helped sigh. The more you love God, the more the Devil will try to steal you from God. Look at the multiple millions whom he has already snatched into his "humble" abodes of hell.

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I don't wanna expect to be revived only in church, but in anywhere all the time!

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Casting Crowns Rock! Their songs are so sincere and they aren't empty words at all. Everyone is specific and the words are so, spot on! I mean, so many people around the world have been touched by their songs. Lives changed and all... Well going away for now.

My Life Message

2005-12-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

We all have our Life messages. I'm gonna record mine! Soon...

Christmas Isn't Christmas

2005-12-13T10:37:00.000+08:00

This song is really really old, but still so meaningful. If only it's sung more often and more widespread.

Chrismas isn't christmas till it happens in your heart
Somewhere deep inside you is where christmas really starts
So give your heart to Jesus
You discover when you do
That is christmas
Really christmas
For you

Jesus brings warmth like a winter's fire
A light like a candle's glow
He's waiting now to come inside
As he did so long ago
Jesus brings gifts of truth and life
And makes them bloom and glow
So welcome Him with a song of joy
And when he comes you'll know

-repeat chorus-

[tick tick tick, time's running out for China! I'll blog on this later]

Burden For China

2005-12-12T01:21:00.000+08:00

China!Population 1.3 billion.

--------------------------------------

On Sunday Pastor Lim was preaching whether we see men as trees; basically about the missions in China that we're starting on.

Actually Pastor Marion had this burden for China for over a decade, it's just that she didn't act upon it earlier. Well, this is one life lesson where we can learn from: Never procrastinate in whatever tasks God sets out for us cos we'll live to regret it. Moreover, we're not the only people suited for the job, with so many people around in this world, God can easily raise someone else up to replace you. So we gotta learn to grab opportunities,, for we never know whether we can ever chance upon another anymore.

Secondly, this is why no one should be proud or boastful of their abilities, inclusive or especially me, since we all know that pride comes before a fall, and also keep in mind that no one is exclusive in God's sight. No one is more eligible for doing God's work according to qualifications. If that is your misconception that special preference will be given to those more equipped intellectually, the results aren't that drastic yet. But when the church chooses leaders on such basis, it is stagnating the fire implanted in the members' hearts; without leaders with hearts for God, it's impossible for the church to grow, in quantity or quality.

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Do We See Men as Trees?

Basically the sermon was about giving ourselves unreservedly to this glorious cause of

Romans 12:1
Living Sacrifices
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to GodÂthis is your spiritual act of worship.

~how long must it take for me to get it into my head that God should aways be first PRIORITY?
It's quite "duh" that God comes first, but many a times the increasing influx ofworldly distractions keep us from focusing in our race in life. Sheesh. Lord help me not to give up.

--------------------------------------------------

~I fear next year.
This year was a disaster simply put.
It's so off my expected target.
It's things like this that bring you down, making me lose faith, not even a glimmer of hope that I can meet up to the bare minimum standards expected of me.
God let me put my utmost trust in you, and nothing will go wrong.
Lord give me the discipline to pray constantly and not be deceived by the devil not harden my heart against the Holy Spirit.
Let me follow your clear directions...~

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

----------------------------------------

Back to the topic on China.

Everyone knows that China's on the rise, or as MM Lee puts it, a renaissance; the return to former glory hundreds of years ago.

It's heartening to know that China's number of Christians are also increasing, but through the underground churches... And even though China's opening up now, there's obviouslystilla lott of political and social suppression. Ie, you still go to labour camp for preaching the gospel, even though outwardly China seems be have cleaned up their old ways of communism and have become more democratic in their governing oftheh country. Well it that is so, then why do people need to be on the run, though not fearing for their lives, due to their "heinous crime of setting upundergroundd churches and converting people".

Anyway, it's so touching to know so many are willing to risk their lives cause they've devoted their entire lives for God.

In the video that our church put together after the China trip, Pastor Lim was saying in the train "You look out of the window, and it's just a wide expanse of land. China is so vast with so many people. Look at the trees passing by. Do we see men as trees with partial blindness? Or do we see their souls?"

Have we all grown so immuned that ministry is up to a chosen few? the Pastoral group? Those who have had their calling from God, whereas we ordinary people just are uniquely different? That we can only live this life as a rat race, chasing after grades in education, after higher pay and greater status afterstrugglingg to build up a good stable career, you know the rest of the pattern in this kinda life. Must we conform to the ways of this world? NO!. We're already told not to!

How many a times at certain services, perhaps at youth conferences, that we've dedicated our lives to God. Surely quite a number of times. How often do we carry out our promises? Surely we can pray to be disciplined to carry out our promises to God when He never fails in His promises.

~everything in life happens for a purpose yes we know. But then again, it's not just a form ofreassurancee when you're seemingly down in your luck. What is the purpose? Are we to live life aimlessly, blinder than a bat since the other sense are also shut off. Wealreadyy know our purpose! God doesn't want us to stop at salvation but continue to mature as a child and transform our lives to be an AMEN! Meaning, you've taken the step of faith to say "yea God please come into my life and live in me, I accept you as Lord and Saviour." So can you now continue and say "Let me follow you and live for you unto eternity"? -this applies to me remember that Christina!-

~to be continued~

~hee hee continued!~

Right after Jesus rose up to heaven from the dead (for death cannot contain Him), the disciples plus the new disciples, though scattered physically, the sharing of the Good News did not stop! For a moments, they were at a loss as to how to react to the loss of their master, passivelyreactedd to their old familiarities of their occupations they had before following Christ. This was despite Christ's countless warnings that He would leave them soon and they would be the ones entrusted to reap the harvest.

~Do we heed God's warnings? Have we turned a deaf ear to thecriese of the wilderness, to the knowledge that millions are suffering under the gripes of Satan's clutches, that the end of time is near. We should stop navel-gazing.

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It's great that our Pastors are our spiritual parents (:

They've been leading Evangel for their entire lives, devoting their all, and their entire savings. It's only by God's intervention that they can give to Evangel and missions every year an amount exceeding their total income. How is that possible man?! And it's amazing that Pastor Marion wakes up at 4 everyday to pray. From such prayerful and generous and God-seeking spiritual parents, we can be assured that Evangel's a secure church where we receive our spiritual manna and grow in faith.

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When the pastors speak of China, I feel so touched by the soul-reaching there. Soul-reaching is extensive, not exclusive. We urbanized idiots grow immune to whatever "rubbish" Christians force down on us, thanks to the influx of new-age ideas, culmination of intellect that we have earned through readings, research, media, secular education,controversiall debates....Duhh the list goes on.

---------------------------------------------

I found a great "motivation/inspiration"/cause to learn Chinese passionately!

Shocking? I dunno. Due to my distaste for this "low-class" language, I opted for schools of English backgrounds/culture...Basicallyy those that embrace Eng and have a penchant for kicking Chinese to the sidelines.

Well, somehow I also wanna reach out to the Chinese. Well, I'm Chinese, in fact in multi-racial Singapore, there's so many Chinese and there's just the possibility of us reaching out to China too.

TheChristiann Chinese are suppressed; labour camps are mandatory for those carrying out their works in theundergroundd churches, even though we may imagine China as becoming more democratic, open, and less tyrannical.

Basically, I wanna somehow, correspond/communicatee with them one day. And I believe it'll come to pass, since theworldlyl isbecomingi actively engaged in China's affairs and grabbing all business opportunities with them. Anyways,MUZ LEARN CHINESE WELL!

People say Learn Chinese cos China is Rising. They say you learn to converse in it well, then you can have a bigger market for your business in future. But our lives are so much like a speck of dust. Living for such purposes are so insignificant; everyone's doing it, but must we jump onto the bandwagon?

I wanna learn Chinese for the Chinese. To use my life to serve them and Yahweh.

Using it for business is just another tool to help yourself prosper, to enable worldly riches to accumulate.

The wise man builds his house upon the rock. The Rock is Jesus and the Church.

Let's build up riches in heavens. The storehouses in heavens are waiting to be filled! The mansions are waiting to have occupants

We The Children

2005-12-12T00:21:00.000+08:00

YAY I've the graduation song!! So amazing. Here's it!

-----------------------------------
WE THE CHILDREN

In every heart there is an ocean
In every voice there is a song
Every mind contains a crystal [hue?]
That we can go to for the truth

And if we listen to the quiet
We can hear it loud and strong
Something we've known all along

[Chorus]
That we the children are golden
And we the children are light
We dance on the top of the mountain
We shine like stars in the night
And we know that our hopes and dreams will grow
That we the children make it so

In every song there is a rainbow (reminds me of macaroni! [when you eat macaroni, please observe how cute these pasta bits look! wonderful sunny bright cheery rainbows, jut like partaking of God's promises!])
In every house there is a home
Every act of love and kindness
As a way of being passed along
For we are all the deep reflections
And all the lessons they've been shown
Hand in hand we're not alone

For [rest of chorus]

[bridge]
If we're ever gonna make this world a better place to live
If we're ever gonna wash away the sorrow
Everyone keep believeing that love is all we need
Love will plant the seed for tommorow

[Chorus] (repeat thrice)

When we the children make it so

--------------------------------------

This is such a bea-u-ti-ful S0nG!
It shall be irrevocably stuck in my head, haha the prettiest earworm you'll find!

2nd Night of Concert.

2005-12-07T19:12:00.000+08:00

Wow. The first concert night we all left, perhaps mostly feeling quite distraught, having the uneventful night that was full of the most disastrous mishaps occurring and recurring.

So on the second day, for the second concert, which started at 2 pm, [oh no I’m feeling sleeping already as I type], I came in with a slight anxiety, praying everything will be fine.

^ zZz, I’ll pause here since I’m feeling sleepy and shall nap. I believe the past few days of late nights are the cause of this lethargy and drowsiness.

-i've lotsa updates to do sigh. But after coming home from work, I fell overwhelmed with exhaustion and weariness. Oh well, I'll update later.

~note: the day wear my loverly Augustus/ frog-kangaroo-cat-dog/yan wee performed! But I didn't manage to take a pic with him, what a bummer

First day of concert

2005-12-03T00:39:00.000+08:00

woah. What a bummer.

The concert was probably worst than any rehearsal ever. Well probably because the rehearsals were all so broken up. With all the photo-taking; nothiung could go smoothly. All broken up to pieces, like shattered glass. No wahahas.

Today was heart wrenching

Anyway I like their graduation song.

In every child there is a ~dunno what~ [fountain?]
In every ~ there is a ~

~blah~
Hand in hand we're not alone.
And we the children are golden.
And we the children are light.
We shine on the top of the mountain,
We shine like stars in the night.
And we know,
that our hopes and dreams will grow
Cos we teh children make it so!

Haiz I gotta go memorise the whole song.

Go tomorrow go!

2 CONCERTS TOMORROW~

Let tomorrow be free of glitches. Unlike today ok?

It's late.

Goodnite.

Oh yah i wanna catch a taxi before 11.30 tomorrow too.

Goodnight dear.

-yawn-

HIGH! STARSTRUCK!!!

2005-12-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

I am so higHhHhHhHhHh

Glam.

HIGH LIKE ANYTHING!

Just now I was in the midst of millions of STARSSSSS.

~Blink Blink~

I'm seeing stars now.

`*' `*' `*' `*' `*' `*' Twinkle twinkle~! `*' `*' `*' `*' `*' `*'

All the glam juz now! All those stars. SO HOT MAN!

Ahh i SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT PIC WITH THE TIN ACTOR! He was sooooo good looking! Man and he flew away. Then Irene Ang, aiyah i missed that pic with her! Shes so friendly and cute! saying "5 dollars" for a pic with her. Haha like that she'll grow much richer. She's so tall, with her RED hair whoosh! Quan Yifeng's hair was of course hot pink.

Zhou Chu Ming had PUrP13 hair. Goodness! And he sported a goatee.

Cheryl Fox so preeeety! Cynthia Koh was too. They all had on an inch thick make up.

Zoe Tay didn't take any photos. She zoomed her way in, wearing a beautiful silver gown. ANd she looks prettier now after putting on some weight after her pregnancy.

Then got that Ng Hui, wearing a white hat.

----------------------------------------
oops I was at the Asian television Awards.

I mean I found myself there. Haha. It was miraculously held at the NUS University Cultural Centre, where Pat's Schoolhouse was also using the theatre for their concert for the next 2 days.

How I wish I could go in and attend the Awards just now. I wonder exactly who received awards....

-----------------------------------------

And what's-her-name... the actress, probably one of the prettiest.... the Lux actress? She was SOOO PREETY! Ahhhhh they all are pretty lah, to put it that way.

I MISSED A SHOT WITH TAUFIK! Even though I'm not his greatest fan, but I would so love a photo with the 1.8m tall guy.

AND I WAS SO SHY! Oh what a great big waste! Oh why didn't a open my mouth to grab photos with all of them?

There were all those HK, Taiwanese, Japanese stars whom I didn't know, sigh.

Then got all those bollywood stars too I think. And those directors, big guys.. I was in their midst!

AHHH SO HIGH!

St@rstrUck.

Simply put.

Too many stars. Too much glamour. But then oopsie we were all simply in casual.

All those people who managed to get their way in were clad in barely there outfits. Lil black dresses covering almost nothing much, plus high heels.

Hmm, this is so once in a lifetime. The only time I can be in this kinda stuation is like, if I'm rich and famous, or a budding journalist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK EARTH TO CHRISTINA.

I've been way too caught up, up up in the air.

Too much glamour now. Got me all caught up in a t@nG13.

But then I still have the scenes flashing through in my mind. All the stars. The red carpet. The lights, camera and action.

Ugh.

Ok Lord thanks for this wonderful opportunity for being caught in between double stars teehee.

The kids are also stars of their own.

And the actually stars too..

Actually my dad was right in saying that all these stars don't last for more than 10 years before they die off.

Weelll.

~Heaven.
I'm in heaven.
This is truly where I want to be...
Chocolate flowing down from fountains just for me.
And I'm stuffed with chocolate smilnig cheek to cheek.~

Haha that's part of the song from the Willy Wonka concert by Pat's Schoolhouse. It's such a loverly song (:

The k2 kids are stars in their own world. They are absolutely lovable! Adorable. Wunderfully fabulous-licious!

Aww they're gonna graduate and go to primary school too. I wonder if they'll miss each other after leaving kindergarden.

Let's pray that the next 2 days go fine. I so hope the kids know what to do. Hope that everything will go smoothly. And that the props will come out at the right time.

Oompa Loompa!

2005-11-30T23:19:00.000+08:00

OMYGOSH! The Pat's Schoolhouse kids are just so loverly!

Loverly loverly!

I'm so super high on all those Willy Wonka songs! Oh wouldn't it be loverly!

Oompa loompa!

Dear me, not making any sense here! Well it's kinda late and I guess I'm just a little burnt out after being in the dark for the WHOLE day in the NUS UCC (University Cultural Centre)

Haiz, I've seriously drugged by all the Willy Wonka songs. Been having them drummed into my head for so many hours. And seeing those kids dance so cute, so wonderful to watch them. Some of them are just so restless, can't even hide behind the "bush" for a few minutes.

Oh well tomorrow's another long day. Quite sianz too waiting there for forever, under a constant dim lighting that's perfect for sleeping on "charlie's bed".

Oh well going now~

~Lot's of chocolate for me to eat!~

Back from dengue!

2005-11-28T21:38:00.000+08:00

I don't feel like blogging now, but still gotta just say something, after not posting for quite a while already.

Anyway, in case anyone still doesn't know, this lil' notti mozzie bit me and infused it's poison into my blood and landed me in hospital. Yupz, it ought to deserve a spanking, notti notti mozzie.

PRAISE GOD I've recovered! After the initial huge SHOCK and fear had coming to the realization that I'm down with this really scary-sounding fever that can even be fatal.

But thank you all of you who visited me!! Especially when my ward was so far away and I realized that one would have a mini-exercise just to reach the horrible bed I paid homage to for an entire week.

Thank you Liu Yi [thanks for forking out your money for the Time mag, it amazed me loads] Chai Yi, Ms Ng [although I doubt you'll be reading this, thanks for your unlimited concern and your presents and card! I love the Doraemon and thanks for the Ribena; a treat during your childhood], Matthew, Joy, Luke, Yong Jie, Zoe... [all the Evangel people, even though we may not know each other that well], Dorothy, Meng Hui, Pei Yi... Who am I missing?? Aunty Annie, thanks for the magazine too. Swee [haha for 3 years I've been intent on spelling your name liddat, and it ain't gonna change for as long as I can help it HAH!], Charing, Ricca, Ryanna... thanks for visiting me even though it could be a drag to bring yourselves to the dreary hospital when you guys went out...[hey I was supposed to be out with you guys too, WAD HAPPENED! Ok fine, the mozzie made me stay in bed, hrmph!] Thanks Ms Tan, even though you didn't manage to come and visit due to the camp, and then I got discharged just when you were going to visit. Thanks for your care and concern too! Thank you my neighbours! Mr Ravi and aunty Amy and the kids... Thanks for visiting. Thank you Shanthi [well too bad you won't be reading this] for making the many trips here and taking care of me and making the bittergourd and frog soup for me. Thank you mummy for oh too many things I can ever list here. Thank you Anthea, Vicki, Renice for sms-ing me during your SANA course; all these sms-es brighten up my somber day.

Now now, am I missing anyone else out? I think I am. Oh no.

Oh yah! Thank you Yuan Hao and D.S0ng for visiting. It was a pleasant surprise! It doesn't matter if you guys came empty-handed. Your very presence was a great present already. Yuan Hao, finally finally I met you... In such an unlikely situation! Yup you prove to truly be spastic boy ah! D.S0ng, thanks for coming and bringing yh along. I thank God for letting me know you 2. Thanks S0ng for coming again a 2nd time, simply to keep me accompany cos I was bored.

Hospital food sucked. But oh well thank you mummy for stocking up on food for me. Oh well I wonder whether I've lost any unwanted fats during my week long stay.

That's all for now.

I pray that I won't get dengue again, else it can be fatal!

~I seriously should learn some paragraphing skills~

testimonial, a really loOoo0oOo0ng one

2005-11-18T17:03:00.000+08:00

this post is gonna be kinda disjointed, unfortunately...

firstly, i shall begin with my grateful thanks to s0ng... YEPS! s0ng start smiling, cos i'm smiling! (:

HEY U! thanks so much for being there almost 24/7. Haha almost. Wells, I in turn shall try to be there for you as much as possible. Thanks for tolerating my tempers, my mood swings, my pms-ing, my bitterness, hurt, or whatever emotional tangle I'm in. You've always been there as a wonderful friend. Always reminding me what true friends are for. That true friends are all-weather friends... the cliched "always there for you" does apply for you man! -I absolutely hate and detest cliches, but sometimes some always manage to find their way into the expression that you want to convey. Thanks for constantly listening to never-ending incessant chatter of mine, though I know, heh heh, that you on the other hand love to hear me yak away right? Up to the point sometimes you induce me to speak, never failing to be a culprit for squeezing me dry of words. Oh well, never mind, it's just good exercise fo the mouth. :D

Now besides being a really effective comforter and day-brightener/ cheer-uper, thanks song for reminding me not to bear the seed of anger. Thanks for helping me relief my stress during exam. Thanks for trying to comply to the demanding me's wishes. -basically thanks for never leaving me, and I hope that all friends never leave each other, but that's just a utopian kinda world that never will exist-

Besides all the sweet words that you utter since....WHEN?... and still do... it's not just empty talk you speak but also good words of advice. -haha bet you'll be grinning away hoh... always never imagining that you can be that smart... always the best guesser/ cheater hur- Yah, i'm so appreciative of your sticking to me despite the fact sometimes I try to drive the point into your head that you shouldn't talk to such a loser as I.

Thanks for your TRICKSIES ahh, and your jokes... I think we've enough animals already to start a farm. So, what shall we call it? Thanks for not being a shallow person and not judging people based on looks but by the heart, but yeah we do realise almost everyone judges by appearance and looks.

You with your seksay dancing. Haha, i'm looking foward to watching your crew dance leh. -when ah- Hope you guys do well for your breaking comp.

Thanks for taking such good tlc of a hospitalised for eternity, bedridden person. Haha. But anyway, hmm how can a fellow patient nurse another? Oh well, then thanks for being a great ward partner.

Thanks for being a really unannoying pest. What the irony wahaha! I still have yet to extinguish you whoosh, and repel you with some form of insect repellant haha.

Thanks for being the 3rd dad I own. Haha me have 3 dads.
1) God the Abba Father
2) My earthly father
3) The ultimate pro fake, bogus, phony, pseudo, false, tricksy all-purpose-dad

I owe you lots I guess. But then again, due to all the terrorism and nightmares and "crying fits", I don't owe you anything. Haha now now, don't get angry hoh... Or at least don't keep your anger to the next day, else you get subjected to the Devil's manipulative lies.

Sorry for the ceaseless bugging and disturbing.

Oh yah so when's our next pillow fight? Haha don't give me many bruises k, I happen to be extremely accident-prone; Ms Ng's description of me is SPOT ON! -oh yah i'm reminded of the times we counted SPOTS-

Anyway, I didn't realise that in one year, so many things can happen, and that we can be such great friends. Hmm, I dunno if one year counts for a long time, but it's the quality of the friendship that matters, not simply the quantity. Although the period of years do stregthen most friendships.

Remember to invite me to your wedding okay, that's if you ever get married in the first place. And vice versa too. This hoh, no excuse for STML.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS

SO LONG POST!

ok I think I shall write the other topics in other posts...

TATA!

note. this is in ORANGE. -winks-

Recruitment Drive

2005-11-17T22:29:00.000+08:00

OH NO! I'm having withdrawal symptoms of not being with the NY guides. I tell you, all of us sure will miss them all, and perhaps vice versa? Dunno how, but we all click and bond so well! Sigh, next year they must come to our campfire in May, they we must give them VIP seats with VIP treatment. Oh and Shu Jun shall sneak in with the NY guides wearing her guide U. (: SC, do u HEAR? K ahh... SET.

Yesterday was a long day, but thank God I didn't exactly die out. During the afternoon at about 3 my tyre suddenly "punchek".

But anyway, I was yakking non-stop (being a guidy guide guiding) [tour guides for guides], trying to kaypo here and there, promoting both scouts and guides, snatching people's customers away, but then again, SOME PEOPLE delightedly presented their customers to me at the slightest bit of instigation to her.

Yah, besides yakking, what else did i do? Oh well, built stove, help building and feeding fire... Kah chiau everyone else... Slack around too. Getting abandoned by me friends ah, hrmph! Trying to cook the pancakes (actually after the first attempt, all subsequent attempts aren't attempts anymore), trying to make the batter. When Debbie came, I kah chiau her so much too.

The parting's the saddest part. People shouldn't have had invented the word "bye" or anything associated with it. It's a wonder none of us shed tears. Rachel was so sweet to have written us letters! HAHA I HATE HER, cos she laughed at me! [sorry this is an inside joke]. I also hate everyone else. Oh by the way, the day before we also went to Food Haven to eat; that was another memorable bonding time! SC and NY together, no boundaries between the two schools! (:

Before we knew it, the time came for us to rush to exchange numbers and MSN. Oh why didn't we do so earlier!

Tomorrow there's another pre-camp training. Looking forward to it. How I wish there'll be Axing. One of the loves of my life! -chop chop hack hack wham- Haha I love being violent. Guess some people would have realized by now that I can be too shiong when doing certain stuff like malloting, axing, chang kuling...

Oh man, HOW TO DO PGA. I just keep thinking that I SURE FAIL ONE! But then again, how would I know before I trust God? But then again, it seems so impossible, after knowing tons of people who are so good and yet they fail. So how would a nobody, rookie, noob, loser, sucker like me even dream to go for it. Moreover my studies may be affected, and my dad sure isn't pleased to know that I'll be bogged down by something major in my O Level year. SO HOW NOW? God can help me achieve the impossible, if only my trust in Him is as little as a mustard seed. Problem now is gathering that pea-size of faith...

I gotta start revising soon. For the whole holiday till now, I've not touched my books at all. Poor stagnating, decomposing them, such poor things to be chucked aside in isolation. Oh well, they may just as well be at peace, 'cos there are people in these world who crave desolation...

But the point now is to devote more time to devotion and to books.

Yeah.

Thank you God again for such a miracle performed on my father... HEY! GOD sure does wonders. If such miracles do happen, then why need I worry about my tomorrow?

"and life is worth the living JUST BECAUSE HE LIVES!"

Matthew 6:26 - Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

Thus OK Christina, another reminder to cast all your cares onto Jesus (:

Tata!

Really tired

2005-11-15T22:21:00.000+08:00

Sigh I'm tired.

Dunno why... It was pretty slack today as we didn't do any cooking. So I should be less burnt out as this. Or could it be that I slept so late last night, and yet I woke up today at such an early hour.

Well, my father's loud yakking woke me up. DUH. Oh well he has been receiving too many calls these 2 days. Well it shows that he has many concerned friends, which is good...

What happened? Basically he met with an accident, but THANK GOD he managed to scrape through without any broken bones or fractures. Most people who call to express their concern tell him, or me, that he's exceptionally LUCKY that he didn't die. It was such a CLOSE SHAVE. Well I'll just emphasize what my dad has been repeating so many times, that it's really all to thank God for.

Haha I was thanking God about Guides and all, but I decided to thank God for my father's well being today.

Thank you for letting him come out of this alive. This is truly nothing short of a miracle. This is another chance to praise you for your mercy and kindness!

Thank you for giving him this experience in life. Life is full of experiences, it's great that you give us an array of experiences to gain wisdom and to praise you too! Without setbacks or any devastation in life, it's easy for one to get inclined to self-reliance, thus drawing away from you. Becoming more self-absorbed; trusting in our fallible strength, trying to be a one-man-show, attempting to walk through life a loner.

--

I'm super tired Fatigue had already come over me a few hours ago.

Anyway, today's the 2nd last day with the NY guides!!!

I'm so reluctant to leave them. Dunno why I grew so attached to them though these sessions. Just when we're really bonded and getting so close, there we just have to be "separated". Rachel was saying that next year we'll be Sec4s, and feel really old, and then gotta have Os. What a sad thought!

-Have i thanked God yet for all these training sessions with NY? It's not just the added knowledge I gain, but the new friends I make! It seems as though I know all of them for a long time! Anthea, Zhuo Shuan, Shu Li, Renice, Rachel, Valerie, Bernice... The list goes on!~

Well it just so happens that we're all so similar. And they are so friendly. And we all work well together, no segregation at all between these 2 schools. It's like we've merged to become one now.

Ok, I shall blog about last Sunday's sermon... SOON...

Foresee that tomorrow will be a really draining day. I should have a built-in meter, indicating the level of my energy left, then go beeping away.... Hang on! I don't ever want it to beep!! NO way! I want my energy level to remain at max for the whole day. What's the point of being tired and not able to do anything at the stations tomorrow? Hopefully will make full use of the day. Make every minute count.

Gotta pray that it'll be a successful recruitment drive. Pray that there'll be minimal problems, and that Ms Ng will always remain cool-headed, and that problems can be easily solved, and lastly that we allleant from our mistakes. I hope that we'll all have loads of fun tomorrow :D

Thank u so much!

2005-11-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

Saw my last post. Yeps, I was supposed to sleep. Went to brush up, lay on my bed, but couldn't sleep. This is a post thanking God for everything again. I mean, not "everything", but for all that i'm listing out.

Well not really couldnt. But anyway, was praying. Everything flowed into my mind. Thanked God for everything.

`~` `~``~``~``~``~``~``~``~``~``~``~`
Thank you thank you thank you so much Lord!

Tears simply flowed, of course, as I thanked God, specifially for guides today, in a listing manner.

I thank god for....

-letting me join this wonderful cca. It's not just a cca, but part of your life! Hmm but then again, not all the skills may be used in the future. However, ONE V IMPT skill that all guides should master is the common sense skill.

I"M SO SORRY TO EVERYONE! I don't wish to brag. I'm NOT! But ok...

Thanks God for giving me some common sense.

Thanks for...

-letting me absorb whatever I learn wherever...
-giving me good memory in the aspect of guiding, to keep all those theory in mind and be able to use them in practice.
-for placing me in my position, in these circumstances and situations. That every let-down/ disappointment/ being snubbed/ being ignored/ being chucked aside/being left out/ being mocked helps to build up my self control. Helps me to remain humble. Let me live in humility in Your eyes.
-giving me opportunities to learn
-giving me people I can learn from
-opportunities to train
-opportunities to teach, to let whatever knowledge I have overflow. Keeping too much knowledge, storing them away only for one's discretion will just slowly cause me to suffocate with greed, self-centeredness, selfishness

~~~~some people ask how i seem to know this and that. They think that I must have learnt them somewhere else. Somehow.

My reply was having common sense. BUT UGH! That's way too egoistic! I'm not JUST SMART or WHATEVER.

It's by God's grace that I may be able to see the rationale behind such measures. Thank God that I may be able to acquire thees skills. The purpose is not for me to hoard them up, but to pass on to others.

If only they would have a ear to listen in the first place.~~~~

Let me reflect you more and more Lord! I feel so guilty for being so sinful. To be more exact, to be vengeful, to be bitter, to be proud... the list goes on. I'm such a DIRTY person. Cleanse me daily O God! Purify me to live unlike the ways of Man. Especially when we're living in such evil times...

Let me have the courage to stand firm for you! How many a times my tongue gets tied, and disallows what You want to say from flowing through. So sorry dear Father.

Holy Spirit saturate my soul. Fill me with Your presence! Guide my ways...

I wanna be Your Mirror; as I was created in Your image, and so shall I be continually be steadfast and live the life you have set me for.

----------------------------------------------------

Thanks for letting me learn all those cute and cheery lil' Sunday School songs and brownie/guide songs when I was much younger. They'll remain preciously wrapped, in the thresholds of my memory, always lingering, always ready to be passed to anyone willing to partake in such source of joy. Another magical product of Your careful creation.

Thanks for the Guiders! For giving us such knowledgeable and dedicated people! Protect them in Your precious blood AMEN! Thanks for having good seniors too!

Thanks for letting them be able to tolerate my nonsense. Thanks for letting Ms Tan have teh patience to deal with my incessant bugging; my ridiculous antics; my illogical whining.

Thanks for letting me endure pain, be it minor cuts, blisters, bruises, or emotional ones. Only then can you mould me.

Lord I am so overjoyed to see Your wonderful ways of SHAPING people. Thanks for moulding me in Your potter's Hands. Let me not to harden my heart! Lest I dry up, and have to be struck down, being rendered useless work. Lord I wanna be soft, smooth, pure, damp clay. Heart that's not stone-cold, but moist, alive, compassionate, with such love for others.

I can't wait to see Your work in the future! Lord I know You've a future in store for me. Let me walk in Your light, in your way, your Will!

Let my walk not be dark and heinous, for I know that You are with me, and let me always remember that no path is too difficult for me to walk, as you will brighten up the day, and never allow any situation to be too difficult beyond my means.

Thanks for friends I can turn to. Thanks so much for letting me know yuan hao, truly an invaluable friend! Lord i pray He will live for you, and may his flame burn bright and clear for the rest of his life!

Young as I may be, You have called my name oh Lord.

*Emmanuel Jesus Christ
You never let me go
My Shepard king
you're watching over me
Emmanuel

Holy holy
God Almighty
There is none like you*

--A really magical song
--sweet music to God when sung sincerely from the depths of your heart :)

TIRED

2005-11-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

i have so much to say, but no energy to write

yeah that's all i can say

goodnite (:

2005-11-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

Oh wells, the HQ training had no outdoor thing for us. Sheesh. Well, making paper bags and making flowers with chocolates are quite fun too. Just that it was a pity we waited for at least 1 and a half hours doing nothing at all. Moreover the elephant (dumbo) me woke up an hour early, goodness knows why, and ended up soaking in the really wonderful book i brought. THANK GOD. If not for the book, i wonder how i would have had survived the ordeal of waiting for more than an hour to past by in Junction 8 right in the morning when the peak hour still hasn't set in.

Now is my craze for books. Singaporean books to be exact. They simply ooze of the unique Singaporean flavour, bringing about the smiles or gloom upon my face as i indulge in them. Whee! I'm promoting books it seems. Well even swee and yvonne likes them, so that's enough valid proof that our writers can write stuff that are so must-read! Just pick a good one up that is a compilation of some award-winning poetry, prose and plays, and hey presto, you might just get hooked on them!

Ok this is gonna be brief since I've to go to bed soon.

Anyway, Ms Ng is a pro in anything and everything it seems. She is an expert in pancakes, then in paper bags, then in making flowers! Amazing multi-talented guider!

How i wished to pop a chocolate or two into my mouth while taping the wires with the green tape thingy. The faint smell just tempted me. Haha we practised SPA skills of fanning the smell of the chocolates into our noses and SNIFFED them.

I love white chocolates! Won't somebody just give me some chocolates to eat. What about now? hee hee! What about impossible?

Sigh

We'd an hour for lunch in J8. So we ate at Yoshi. Anyway we went back early and all of us taped the wires with Ms Ng. It was like, such a bonding and cool feeling!

Everything ended at about 4pm. Swee went to buy a mocha latte (am i rite?) from coffee bean... I stole quite a bit from her drink, but anyway, calculative (C personality me) me promised to buy a blue hairband for her in return. [BTW swee, i did] To look bimbo wahaha!~ Nah, she's just gonna "display" it on her table at home. What a pity. Hur hur, the blue is the same shade as our uniform. What a great match!

This just reminded me of how SC blue i am. Let's see. From top to bottom. Blue hairband, blue (topaz) ear-studs, blue uniform of course, blue bag, blue bottle, blue watch, blue pencil case. WOAH! And all teh blues happen to be more or less the same blue. So i guess that makes me too overdosed with our SC blue during school days. Unfortunately no blue specs.

Oh wells, i lent my book to swee, who happened to call me up at night just to laugh. -swee, how weird can you get ah.- Haha wasting your phone bill just to laugh. Yeps, the Chronic story was really that funny. And there's another as good or better book "Capsule". Swee really wanted to read it after hearing me rattle on, reading bits from the book. UNTIL... erhem bodiless heads popped up. Swee you are still to read this orangey, and compact, portable, thin and small, puny light cute book.

Or else I'll resort to using FORCE wheee!

Even yvonne recommends for SWEE to read Capsule. OK?

Yeps, I'm gonna read Catherine Lim and Suchen Christine Lim's books again. I love short stories. Hence i especially love Catherine Lim's books. Btw, last week during the Lir Seminar thing at HCI, we met all these writers. Catherine Lim is an especially chatty person who goes on non-stop whenever she opens her mouth. She's rally outgoing, out-spoken and loud! Amazing! Suchen Christine Lim's character is quite the contrary from Cat Lim's. But anyway, that's all i shall say. It's late now!

Singapore writers are so cool! All those who are bored and have nothnig to do and yet also don't want to look at homework or any school work, go hunt down books! I'm not being bookish or nerdy, but boy can Singaporean writers write

It'll be such a joy! It can be addictive! :D

i love the NY guides!

2005-11-11T21:59:00.000+08:00

Oh man! I will seriously miss them after this training thing for recruitment drive. They are so sociable, friendly and accomodating. At first I came in apprehensive, wondering if this is gonig to be a whole big torture. Well, if the whole thing is sianz, everyone, including Ms Ng, feels it too. So it's just amazing how I'm loving all the NY guides, and that I feel a little, how do you say it, family-like, with them. (:

Feel right at home in NY, groaning about anything boring to do, whooping away like crazy cause i'm crazy?? ... naah, just that I get a natural high sometimes at NY. Their swing is nice to swing. However me always get dizzy in just 2 minutes.

There's just a great mix of people in NY guides, some ultra-responsible and steady, some really comical, perhaps cos it runs in their blood? Some cool, some cute, guai, strong, down-to earth... Weird... some of them resemble some people we know...

Therefore, i propose to our leaders next year to have more joint-anything....

-hint hint- [ms low style]

heh heh

tommorow going to HQ, for whole DAY??!

Ok i shall enjoy it

Yeah baby!

Russel Evans' sermon

2005-11-10T22:42:00.000+08:00

YAY YAY YAY!!

Russel Evan's sermon's on church webby

Anyone, just go to evangel's webby --> www.evangel.org.sg , under WORD...

And THERE, u got it!

Happy watching (:

Your spear, your armor, your shield. [fr wong yuan hao]

2005-11-09T22:43:00.000+08:00

CREDITS FROM YUAN HAO
NOTHING FR ME, -apologetic-
~~special and heartfelt thanks to yuan hao again~~
-full of gratitude for allowing me to steal wholesale the fruits of your labour

The word of God.

As you know, the spirits of jezebel and ahab are very active nowadays. Satan is also very active nowadays. This is depicted by the world of sexual immorality, world of hate, and new philosophies such as the new age culture, witchcraft, Satanism. There are also many perversions of Christianity. I will talk about this, and going to come out with a series, talking about the 10 worst perversions and misconceptions of Christianity.

Look at the world now, isn't it full of sexual perversions? Isn't it full of hate? Full of politics? Isn't the love of many, gone cold? Hasn't man start to betray each other? They say man is walking to a better stage, to improve ourselves, for better relations in the set-up of the UN.

But is it?

Look at the natural disasters coming. As the bible says

"Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains"
--Matthew 24:7-8

By the way, this is just the beginning. Do not let your faith tremble. For it is said, that the spirits of ahab and jezebel are rampant at these times. And it is. Satan will come up with thousands of ways to screw up your faith. He will create natural disasters.

If you were not to know that verse, you would even doubt God, on why is he letting all these happen. Firstly, its because of his actions, secondly, its all written on his precision calendar. Hasn't it been said that it would come? The word of God is your shield, it protects you. It's your armor, it shields you from the attacks from the enemy. The good thing is, this shield and armor is exponentially harder than the hardest diamond. How important, is daily devotion in keeping you protected?!

And more is to come:

"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."
--Matthew 24:9-14

Hasn't it happened? That Christians are hated all over the world? Hasn't it happened, that Christians are persecuted? Even by the government? Even in Singapore? How rampant! It's all over the world! Don't worry. God ain't surprised. It is foretold, it is written. It is in the bible.

During these times, you need something so powerful and resistant to protect yourself from the devil, because he is working so much in these days. That is, your bible. That is, your prayer. That is, your personal relationship, your best friend, your side-by-side partnership, your caring friend's relationship, with God. At these times, you really need him. More than what you can ever imagine. You need the word of God. It's like this. The word of God is a powerful 3 in 1. It is your armor, your shield, and your spear. It's so powerful that the demon gotta flee! It's the salvation! Salvation is written in this book. This book brings salvation, it brings hope, it brings faith! This is the lifebook God told us to read. To guard ourselves, and to counter attacks from the demon.

I am not asking you to purposely go and whack the demon. Demon is given authority over the world now. And by doing that, you can get thrashed up real bad by him. We are men of peace, not of conflict, just as, Jesus is the prince of peace. By following him, we must be men and women of peace.

If any temptation Satan throws at you, you flee that temptation, and throw to him a verse. This time he will flee. The word of God is so powerful. It's so strong. It's from God. The word of God brings salvation. God is love.

It's your spear, your armor, your shield. Prayer is your spear, your armor, your shield. Prayer is the background worker. DO NOT CONFUSE PROMINENCE WITH SIGNIFICANCE. Prayer can be done discretely, can deliver discrete background changes. But the results are whooping. Look at this: who can stop God from working what he made you to do for him? God can do ANYTHING. He can kill the person you hate for you. But God would change him, and make him his child.

Prayer is the ultimate weapon. It comes along with the word of God, which is the bible. Make an intimate relationship with God, tell him everything about your day, like, your lunch, your crush, your deepest secret. Although these he already know, but it forges one extremely strong best-friend relationship, which can be so powerful that non believers take more than the whole existence of the world to understand it. And don't underestimate it. A prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Your relationship with God builds you a lot of love and trust. God changes you from the inside. He gives you what you need. Jesus is awesome.

That's why Christianity is not a religion. It's a relationship. God is love. The bible didn't say "God has love", but said "God IS love". His love is so overwhelming, that he desire a personal, intimate, loving, best-FRIEND relationship he has for us. That's what that protect you from your enemy!

The bible says:

"You are better off to have a friend than to be all alone, because then you will get more enjoyment out of what you earn. If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble."

ecclesiastic 4:9-10

Just as 2 are better than one, your relationship with God is your shield. 2 are better than one. And prayer with God, that relationship is your ultimate protector.

That verse talks about the need of fellowship. There is no lone such thing as a ranger Christian. You need a spirtual partner. You need a friend with you. Because if you fall, you are really in trouble. But with a friend (human friend, hahaha), you can be helped up.

Beside your relation with God, you need a friend. That's gonna help you. That's your shield. That's your armor, your protection.

----------------------------------------------------

MANY THANKS YUAN HAO!

SO ON FIRE ONCE AGAIN!

2005-11-06T22:35:00.000+08:00

TODAY RUSSEL EVANS CAME!

The Holy Spirit was ever so tangible today! Russell Evans was cool, really too funny, witty...BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, and obedient child of the I Am. We all really should stop being Me am, but more glory be to the I Am. This is especially so for me. -Christina YOU gotta stop being all about you. God created PEOPLE. Note that it's not singular. Even more importantly, there is a Him. No highway option [haha] to how the relationship should go. It's not a zero or 1 way communication.- How you view/treat God is how you'll receive from Him.

*BTW, actually it relates for all kinds of relationships, thay must be a 2 way communication. Both sides must sincerely be interested in what the other party is saying, so that the relationships can be sustained. Plus, just wanna note that there'll be quarrels. Do anticipate them. Don't avoid since there's no avoiding quarrels; trying to escape only intensifies the impending disaster. Beware, ominous signs loom ahead! BUT, best of all, if people can patch up their relationships instead of turning away from each other, the bonds get stronger. It's a guaranteed better ties in the future. So just press on. Don't despair when your friends seem to be slowing leaving you.

You can run, but u can't hide. Just like Adam and Eve. You got to be kidding if you seriously think God knows not what you do. Nothing can be swept under the carpet, if there's any in the first place. But anyway, it's no matter right? Since we are proficient in our lies, truth is the disillusioner is deluding you. Pastor Evans was speaking on the Power of Agreement.

This was spoken with the point that it’s a clearer picture to view God as the Box Breaker, and the Devil as the Box Maker. Who you want to choose, it’s all up to you.

So basically, Box Maker VS Box Breaker.

It’s obvious the latter’s worth following.

The Box Maker’s duty is to cover you with lies, delusions, [I wonder if he lies to himself about his purpose of existence tsk!] The Devil delights in making us live in Containment, and encages us in beautiful, square, oblong boxes, dark and manipulative boxes. Whatever the case, the box in the literal sense is to contain, hide and limit. So in the figurative level, it’s primary purpose is to capture/ hunt down every single game and subject us to differential forms of slavery.

WOULD you really desire to live a boring, limited, full of misery, and in containment life?

Why not give the Box Breaker a chance? The One that destroys the evil Satan has done in his sole aim of destroying our lives, seeing us crumble to bits, reducing us to a heap of worthless ashes, and worse still being his source of entertainment.

Boxes, boxes everywhere.

Box of lies. Box of blame. Box of pride, self pity, anger, revenge, shame, fear, the list goes on.
Humans just love the Box of Blame. We’re accustomed to denial. Adam blamed Eve who blamed the serpent[who, had no legs of it’s own, could blame no one else; tsk].

Imagine being surrounded by dozens of boxes, your mini-houses, lacking in providing any sense of refuge, only boxes of deep and dark, that make you squirm, quiver like a worm. Whee! So every moment you keep changing your fickle mind, you naturally get entangled in this web never-ending realms of sin, as uncountable as the grains of sand on this Earth.
Eve was being deceived by serpent's lies. Why? It’s because she was a recipient of 2nd Hand Revelation. She took God's Words lightly. Was easily tricked and fooled. (I wouldn't want to be fooled by anyone, especially the Devil)

You're either for God or against God. Disobedience is equivalent to pledging allegiance to the enemy, allowing him to have another moment's hearty laugh at you, and pass another scornful remark to God. How could I, how could we, ever let both God and ourselves down?

Moral: Take God serious girl! Stop chucking the Holy Spirit’s voice or tune him out. That’s what everyone tends to do. Sometime we snatch ourselves away from God’s Will when we refuse to be sensitive and listen to God’s directions, hence robbing ourselves the opportunity to be closer to God, and to walk in His perfect plan.

More on the Box Breaker:

Noah couldn’t agree with his circumstances, with all the scorns and mockery. However, the One above is greater than he who is on Earth. Thus He agreed with the Box Breaker despite facing much humiliation.

David. The young child, a puny lil’ thing, no match for the Goliath. “Poor him” speculators chorus, unaware that the best is yet to come. –winks-

Paul killed tons of Christians. But despites the obvious that it’s impossible for an anti-Christian to be a Christian, his strong desires led him to be one nevertheless.

Moral: There’s no such exclusiveness in Christianity, stop judging others, else you’re just causing yourself to be judged one day by God.

Jesus lived a perfect life. Stop twisting the facts that he could have been sinful or what not. He’s God’s Son. He does not sin. Full stop.

When Judas betrayed him, he could have jumped into the Revenge Box. He didn’t. Knowing that He was dying for us, the worthless Gentiles, for our sins. It wasn’t for our nobility or righteousness that deserve applause, cos we weren’t a reason actually that would compel anyone to be tortured and crucified. He died, knowing the necessity of washing away our sins. However, if I were Him, I might be the first person to question God how much these people deserve my pain. But once again, he didn’t get bound by the Box of Blame. It was crucifixion with acceptance.

Well, like what Pastor Marion always says, simply get right with God, and follow only Him. If you wanna please Man, you’ll get a big headache and end up a mess. Moreover, Man will all leave you one day, some unappreciative of your efforts to please them. It’s better to please our God, cos it’s only 1 person you’re dealing with now. Makes life simpler. Plus God sees what we do on Earth and also has rewards for us in heaven.

~Live in the light on ETERNITY~

I gotta stop engaging in gossip. Girls love gossip, and I’m sure so do guys… nice to evesdrop on the misfortunes or just about anything on anyone else. As long as the subject matter is not ourselves, we delight in lending a ears to soak up any juicy bits, plus chipping in with additional VITAL and CRITICAL information, necessary to be used in our critique of others.
PSSSST……Can’t everyone stop suaning each other. These undesirable comments, that may hurt the victim’s feelings, should be kept to ourselves, at best not even thought at all. For even though evil may not be carried out in action, the mere thought makes us victim to our sins.

--the malice involve in gossips... -shudder-

Live for God, not for Man, not for Me

2005-11-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

Oh man! I'm high on GUIDES!

This is probably the first time ever I'm SOOOO in love with everything... Well maybe not everything, but most of the outdoor stuff i guess...

For THREE whole years, we simply sit through meetings during nothing much in particular... Everything's dreary, or may i simply put it, MUNDANE AND BOOORING!

Suddenly!

Wham!

Today came!

I was exhilarated!

A whole rush of ecstasy covered me during the training. Despite my "injuries" that i find totally CUTE! Hehe i love my bruised hands. Sadist me ah...

And i love the NY guides!! So nice and friendly!

Hmm so far teh teachers I love are Mrs Fern and Ms Tan. Perhaps now I'll add Ms Ng (:

Yesterday during HOF I realized once again about itemization. Sounds cheem? Nah simply means listing down everything that God has blessed you with/ COUNTING your BLESSINGS! (:

I hardly do that, since I have to confess I do neglect God sometimes :(

Let's start now! Manz God you've done too much for me...

It's true, when you count all your blessing, it's inevitable for the tears to start flowing

Today after hof

2005-11-05T01:05:00.000+08:00

There're some friends i must really treasure {:

Anyway today at the end of altar call during HOF (Hearts on Fire), Pastor Casey was telling us what God had planted in his heart quite some time ago, regarding what God wants him to tell us, the youth.

1) United as one body
2) peer pressure
3) Influence?

They're really true.

Yeah I used to feel quite alone in church this year, maybe still do. But after today, somehow much more accepted. Thank you God for seeing my heart and hearnig my plea.

Sigh peer pressure. Another direct hit. Have always been worried by how otehrs view me since I'm a Christian. Yes I know I'm supposed to live for God, and I also want to. But, what if all my friends happen to be non-christians? It's hard not to conform to them. Always asked God for His understanding, I guess He does. And this is his reply. So anyways, from now, as indicated, I shall stop complying....

Thank you God for once again giving me directions in life (:

Steps

2005-11-04T16:57:00.000+08:00

Step
Two steps
Another step
Some more steps
Almost losing count
The way you clamber up
On The Stairway to Heaven
It is not effortless, my dear friend
So press on now, you’ve more to go
Always take the ROAD less Traveled
Heading straight for our Lord God Almighty
Until you pass through the narrow gates with joy
And finally meet Him face to face on a higher plane!

Hark!
Hear ye
Take heed
Look ahead
Not sideways
With trepidation
Stand firm on the rock;
Feet grounded in the truth
Solid with the Word of God,
The living Word that sets you free.
Cast all thy cares and worries upon Him

And lay too all your burdens down at His feet

WHOOSH!!! :D

2005-11-04T16:17:00.000+08:00

Hehe
I love Lit
I dunno y
it's freaky
But lit's fun
i guess I'm just
a Lit buff they say
Oh wadeva i dun care
Right now I'm in love with
The creating of waves whoosh
Using varying lengths of words
Creating some sort of pattern
Perhaps...............surrealistic
Even................... Fanatical
But………………….still
I enjoy
The beauty
Of artistically
Enhanced language
That blocks out senses
wonderfully but temporarily
How amusing, I cannot deny it
This brainless and murderous art
That annihilates the brain cells
Slowing down the processes
Inducing……….. retardation
Allowing……..…thyself
Entry………..… into
IMH!

2005-11-04T10:11:00.000+08:00

Gee... i realized that i think quite a lot. Not trying to imply that I'm intellectual or anything, but just an observation of my frequent observations.

I wonder what people feel after reading blogs like YH's or mine... I bet most shun them off, cause it's just one of our million posts about this God

It's amazing to realize that I've been touching on highly sensitive topics. Topics either not easily discussed, or should be forbidden,

Last night, as usual before i sleep, i lay in bed pondering and thinking. It's hard to shake off your thoughts and go to sleep. Well I guess I just happen to be a light sleeper? Or one turning into a nocturnal animal.

People are shallow. People are hypocrites. There's no one perfectly righteous on this Earth. SHEESH! Isn't being EVIL the way of life? Since it's cool to be rebellious, to be angst-filled, to live a life contradictory to what holy people would, to manifest the 7 Sins. Since the ASSUMPTION is PROBABLY true that you get utmost pleasure in life sinning. And also the argument that life is short, so live life to the fullest, and indulge in sin, SINCE there seems to be no law against it, hence might as well hanker for pleasure after pleasure.

How foolish! Satan has delightedly been manipulating His powers. Mind you, Satan does have power, hence gaining him multitudes of slaves to his manipulation. Almost everyone doesn't realize it, but we've been subjected to his control every day of our lives. Some even outrightly glorify him.

I bet Mr S.A. Tan is fuming away as I've been saying that. And he probably is trying to attack me with all his might in time to come. Who cares. I fear God, not Man nor the devil.

If God is for me, who can be against me?

-----------------------------------------------

In the last days, it's a fact that survival will becoem more difficult.

Who can deny the fact?

Many have been seeking answers to this shockingly escalating rise of natural disasters, and some have the theory that Mother Nature is angry. But for what reason? Wel it's for us to find out. Yes, it could be due to Man's selfish use of the Earth's resources, thus bringing about our just fruits that we deserve, since we've been lavishly exploiting what resources there are on Earth. Some also suggest that it is the turning point of another evolution soon to come.

But all these have long ago prophecised in the bible. <-- This statement is sure to cause many to be in disbelief. As usual.

For how long will you continue to be in disbelief. Continue to cloud yourselves with disillusionment?

For it has been prophecised that people will experience sicknesses, pain, loss. And people, including (especially) christians, will become power-hungry, greedy, selfish (rich fishmongers hoarding up on personal gain), liars, cheaters, cold, compromise on their morals and values, and more so backslide.

Many will neglect the Great Commission and not put in any effort to win souls.

I Tim 4:1-5

1 Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, 2 through the pretensions of liars whose consciences are seared, 3 who forbid marriage and enjoin abstinence from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. 4 For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving; 5 for then it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

2 Tim 3:1-5

1 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of stress. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 inhuman, implacable, slanderers, profligates, fierce, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding the form of religion but denying the power of it. Avoid such people.

HELLOWEE!!

Ezekiel 33:4-7

King James Version

4 Then whosoever heareth the sound of the trumpet, and taketh not warning; if the sword come, and take him away, his blood shall be upon his own head.

5 He heard the sound of the trumpet, and took not warning; his blood shall be upon him. But he that taketh warning shall deliver his soul.

6 But if the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned; if the sword come, and take any person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at the watchman's hand.

7 So thou, O son of man, I have set thee a watchman unto the house of Israel; therefore thou shalt hear the word at my mouth, and warn them from me.

Revised Standard Version

4 then if any one who hears the sound of the trumpet does not take warning, and the sword comes and takes him away, his blood shall be upon his own head.

5 He heard the sound of the trumpet, and did not take warning; his blood shall be upon himself. But if he had taken warning, he would have saved his life.

6 But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet, so that the people are not warned, and the sword comes, and takes any one of them; that man is taken away in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at the watchman's hand.

7 "So you, son of man, I have made a watchman for the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me.

---------------------------------------------

We can only pray to overcome these challenges for survival and to remain strong with God.

----------------------------------------------

Anyways, i shall stop here for now...

2005-11-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

It's insane
I'm still awake
Should be sleeping
Then why am I still here
I sound just like a mother
Or parhaps a maid, hur
wadever manz

WHHEEE!
i love the flow of words
delicately streaming across
like the ebbs and flows of waters.
Just like in Literature,
Where in poetry,
Poets emulate
Nature
Cool
Peaceful
Perhaps tranquil
Causing relaxation,
With only words?

Truth be told,
I’m not into meditation
Nor into finding inner peace.
But please before you start
Slamming me right
In the face,
Let me
Explain.

True joy
Comes from
A relationship
With God Almighty
No one is a god.
Unfortunately,
This new age movement
Is the most deceptive and damaging
Philosophy around today

I know there’re many
Who’ll be angered by what I say
And want to spite all Christians alike
But before you do so
Tarry a little
Let me say to you
Is there any truth you see?
Or hear or read?
In reality
There is.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The condemnations may not stop
Crying “foul” will be prevalent
All in the last days
Where false prophets will arise
And gain the support of the masses
But those who have a ear,
Let them hear
What God has to say.

oh no!

2005-11-04T00:15:00.000+08:00

AHHH
i'm devastated!
lost 1 post!
argh!

sigh

2005-11-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

blogging is such a time-consuming job
may be relaxing... but this is only when i'm free like now during the hols
so will i continually post next year?
i dunno
SHEESH
next year gonna be hectic
i hope my friends will be able to cope with teh extra workload, especially those who're holding positions in cca/prefects/ class
i also hope to be more self-forgetful. Hee hee. Since i've such acute STML (short term memory loss), then it should serve my purpose :D

prayer

2005-11-03T23:33:00.000+08:00

hmm, today is a pretty much nothing day... anyway i think i shall start praying more, plus reading God's Word more. Besides, there's plenty of time now to set aside for devotion, there's simply no excuse to neglect God now that i'm super free. Let's see... What should I pray for?

-Personal
-Family
-Friends
-G12
-Church
-Nation
-World

-------------------------------------------

Personal

-remember to thank and praise God incessantly for His goodness in my life
-that i seek God in everything I do; so as to change my character, and also to face trials without trying to depend on my insufficient self
-Let humility shine forth in me, let my life be a good testimony
-give me the stamina to pray more
-Give me the desire to seek Your face even more

Family

-that my family be more of a praying family; since a family that prays together stays together
-that my brother will go to CSS, God WILLING
-Let there be less quarrels but more harmony

Friends

-CY & LY come to church (more often/ their parents allow)
-My friends soften their hearts towards me, so that I may be Your faithful and humble servant to be Your voice
-stop turning to occult practices

G12

-G12 Certified; that our friends and siblings will be more open, that God soften their hearts

Church

-Church growth
-Bless our pastors who’ve led EFC for so many years. May their efforts and obedience continue to bear fruit. May You continue to anoint them and EFC, so that more lives will be changed. [what matters is the number of lives changed, not the size of the congregation]
-Bless Pastor Dale and Pastor Chui, let them be obedient to You and successfully lead EFC in the years to come
-May the Missions to China be successful, with a bountiful soul harvest… [the lost are out there, it’s up to us to be willing to be vessels for God]
-May our church planters in Philippines continue their work. May lives be touched, healed and changed. Take care of the children, let them survive to see the glorious future that You have in store for them
-Let the missions in Indonesia be as good/better than that in Philippines. Protect our missionaries in light of the rising danger. Let no terrorist lay a finger on them, cover them with your precious blood.

Nation

-thank you for Singapore’s stability, peace, harmony
-let Singapore continue to be free of corruption, remain strong and untainted from social problems,
-Church leaders continue to support the government and pray for our nation
-Church leaders to have sound doctrines, and to lead their congregations well, by being God-fearing leaders, instead of letting pride swell up in their heads. May they influence the people well, constantly seek God, and act in accordance to God’s wishes, not give in to the peoples’ foolish wants
-let Singapore be like Korea, China, and Africa; spark off revival. Lord we know that you have continually blessed our nation, most importantly with a good and strong government, hence it must be for a reason. Let our blessings be overwhelming, and pour out onto the nations of the world.

World

-the affluent nations to stop backsliding/ turning to occult practices
-the nations stung by poverty to restore wealth (financial and spiritual); more of the poor will be saved from the evil clutches of death, through the efficient and uncorrupted handling of food and medical supplies
-coupled with the continued REVIVAL that has already been sparkling in these poverty-stricken nations, since wealth/mammon is usually a vice to steer people off the track for God… hence why the need for money? Salvation more important duh. *more lives be saved*
-However please let these innocent lives survive the threats of the land. Let the land be fruitful and sustain the people; however let them not forget your blessings in times of peace
-that number of diseases be reduced, and that they will not be rampant.

~send me i will go~
~i will proclaim the truth that jesus christ is Lord~

Hope I'm not judging... Some rebuking...

2005-11-01T22:34:00.000+08:00

There're so many kinds of things i really want to tell some people straight in the face/ direct confrontation. But you know that's impossible.

So perhaps I'll speak my mind here without any reference to anyone. Basically it's to anyone in general.

Sheesh this is hard! How am I to start? Who am I to judge others?! But anyway, I'm not trying to judge people, just trying my best to give some advice...

Ok. Truth is always hard anyway... Hard to speak and hard to accept.

SCGS is a great school. I love being here. The people are generally pleasant to each other, or at least we live quite harmoniously together [this totally sounds like a fairy tale]. So, my point is that the people are guai/good/well-behaved... The school culture/environment is so good that it can become a shelter for most people... And this is where the pros and cons come in.

Pros: Let's say you're this big meanie, nasty monster whose bark is worse than your bite. Everywhere you go, your snarls hurt others; they leave a permanent mark on others even though they were unintentional, and done unknowingly. Good news!~ No one minds. Or seem to mind. Cause we take them with a pinch of salt and shrug them off TIME AND AGAIN. It seem as though we're empty vessels waiting to be filled up with the continual onslaught of your shots.

However, time will prove that change is required. It's inevitable for everyone to survive. It's the basic instincts of animals, us homo sapiens included. Just as the caterpillar undergoes changes and sufferings of being isolated in that tiny, body-hugging cocoon, we too gotta learn how to improve our character. It's impossible to hide a person's true character. You have to learn the hard way to earn your character that determines your social status too.

Cons: Being in a safe haven for 10 years can keep you so out of touch with the real world outside. Or rather, from young you're never really been exposed to other people of different backgrounds/ race/ religion... Being cooped up in the same place with the same old people for so long, it's quite expected that one can get too accustomed to the way of life in here. It's good that we get t0 mix around in JC... But anyway, my point is that just because people here are nice, doesn't mean that others outside would be that accommodating towards you! I seriously hope you won't experience too great a culture shock once out of SC. We're gonna be sec 4s already. So it's only a year before we get to meet others, who may not necessarily be that kind/ nice/ tolerant of you. Chances are, the outside world is harsh. You'll be forced to face it. You may try to run, but where can you hide? You may try to ignore problems, but somehow you still gotta face them. It's back to square ONE.

All of us have problems with ourselves. The problem is US. Thus to get rid of the malignant issue, we've to deal with ourselves. Stop pointing fingers at others. If others are flawed, it's their business too. You should help them if it's within your means, but the main issue here is yourself. How are you gonna solve others' issues without first dealing with yourself? When people give advice, it should be out of goodwill. Why disguise deceit and hypocrisy with the mask of...Showering care?That's plain disgusting. Black cannot be painted as white!

-Christina stop judging others-

-God forgive me for judging others-

Matthew 7:2 - For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

Luke 6:37 - Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

I think we all really should learn to judge others less. We don't own the right to condemn/rebuke others with this vile tongues of ours. Even more so if you're Christian, since i assume we all know that we are not to judge, since every judgment we met out to others, the same will be expected of us... And since no one can live up to God's perfect standards, how certain are we that we have authority to snuggle/ squirm/ stand above others. Remember that your every deed is recorded and shall be presented to all the people as you stand before God and receive your due judgment, given in all fairness.

hmm, Day of Reckoning...

Matthew 12:36 - But I say unto you, that every idle word which men shall say, they shall render an account of it in judgment-day

Psalms 34:13 - Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile

Proverbs 18:21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Proverbs 21:23 - Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.

Thus, WATCH your tongue! I must confess I'm no goody-2-shoes. I dreadfully fail the judgment test.. We're all humans... Are there any who can boast that he has treated all brethren with humility? And yes my tongue too needs to be rid of all the lashes I've whipped out at almost everyone else.

-thou deceitful heart and tongue ought to be tamed!-

--------------------------------------------------

I shall devote more time to God.

Being a Christian is not on the basis on how long you've been a Christian. Yeah, so what if you've been going to church since you were a baby? God looks at the heart. He is more concerned with the quality of the MUTUAL relationship. In a relationship it's a 2 way thing. How can you expect God to keep providing you with your material wants if you don't even bother to share your time with Him? That's like how ungrateful. Dies He that brought you to existence not deserve the "limited" spare time you have? Is prayer to be treated as loose change dumped to some poor orphan. If you spare minutes here and there for God [moreover most of the prayers are for personal benefits, not of praise and worship], it's parallel to dishing out bit of your time here and there, without the slightest consideration how the other party feels in light of your LIGHT actions.

I have yet another confession of praying too little. Well, perhaps it's good I'm doing some self-rebuke. Better to change myself before it's to late.

I wanna live this life for God. I wanna please Him the best I can.

~What makes God smile?~

One of it is to be obedient! Christina, remember to continually devote all that you do to God Almighty! Anything can be used to glorify His name. Keep that in mind!

my shortest ever post

2005-11-01T12:35:00.000+08:00

haha danielle was right in saying that secret recipe's offer will make lots of people fat :D

~this is my shortest post ever~

School's OVER... for 2 WHOLE months??!!

2005-10-31T22:10:00.000+08:00

Omygoodness! Can't believe i'm not going to have lessons for 2 months. Reality still hasnt sunk in yet haha!

Yay! Today basically just walked up and down Orchard? Why? Ask Danielle. ALL HER FAULT! Whee! Haha, we the C personality people are known to be indecisive. And she simply proved that by killing our legs. Ok fine...walking helps to burn calories.

Danielle always find em weird laughing/smiling at my phone. Wonder why? Haha haha... that's for me to know and for no one to find out!

I ate too much cake today. Cake overload. And danielle and I are obviously 2 very very indesicive people. I wonder who takes 15 minutes or more to order their food... HAHA the "lazy" people didn't make letter Ds doe her to eat. But they made Cs! Yay!

Training last Saturday was fine... Like what Ms Tan said, it's like a bootcamp. Well not exactly, but the standards in Nanyang of course way higher than in here. We gotta improve people! Haiya, how to raise SC's standard???

Thank God the cheese didn't rot... I bought half a cake home today, since it's the last day for their offer.... Anyway, i think i'm speaking in riddles today, unfortunately.

So anyway, since our bodies regenerate from 11pm to 1/2 am, i shall go to sleep now!!

Ugh the weather's so bad! I'm feeling so sticky and dirty now. Gross.

Okshoo Christina... Off you go!

2005-10-28T21:47:00.000+08:00

Today's last day of school and prize giving..
top in class: none other than swee
top in AM: our darling phuong
top in lit: spastic danielle the SPAZ
top in art: yuan qiu the talented
sigh! mrs see's gg off... well can't be helped lah.. too bad... well hope her daughter grows up happily under her (: hope mrs see oso will have a gd time taking care of ariel/ ACS hee...s
igh how i wish sch's not over yet... post-exam days are pretty fun too...

Amazing that our class is finally growing closer naturally... I guess it's best tt we know each other slowly... and accept one another despite our differences...Hmm, last yr's talentime was amazing! Really sad we dun hv this yr...well, next yr hope we can do our best and win some comps...

let's see, erms there's Dama Fest! yay! oh yah and Sports Day and wad not... Hmm, i guess after our dearth of winning comps, or erms, to put it crudely, we kinda sucked this yr due to insuff planning and effort... we'll have to fight it out next yr...can't humiliate ourselves anymore and well... up the standards of PE :D

Yesterday...

2005-10-25T20:49:00.000+08:00

Sigh! Yesterday I was abotu to post my entry when the COM DIED!! Sigh so i'm gonna type all over again, how infuriating!

ok.... -deep breath-

Yesterday was pretty much a FABULOUS day (:

It was a "no enrichment activities day", thus we had a class party!! Why? What for? Erms, just to make the post-exams activities more fun... though i'm not sure about the bonding part. Anyway, our class is rally NATURALLY getting more bonded! Ok, i'm not here to sound sickly sweet and cheesy and gush about getting bonded and all. I find it kinda fake when you try to rush things and over-enthusiastically CREATE a bonded class. Ok, i'm also not condemning the way people work together as a class, just that to me, i prefer having everyone know each other well and genuinely make friends by getting to know each other through taking our own initiative, instead of being rushed to be united... Which is usually through competition...

Oh wait, me the split personality (nah actually i've quite a stable personality; CD) now thinks that it's a good way to bond the class through inter-class competitions such as Talentime, Drama Fest.... YEPS! yay! now i remember all the wonderful times in 2SE! Haha last time we used to keep getting 3rd for everything, with minimal practice... oops!

Yeah, so anyway, this time we had almost full attendance! (: Duh... since it's in school... after chem... Thank God the wonderful, rich, really really chocolatey and fabulously delicious and it is so thick and melts in your mouth... Goodness i'm getting carried awy... but CAN'T HELP IT! the choc cake made everyone went "woah" at first sight (I think) haha i took 2 servings... but 2 small servings... Some people took so big slices! WOW! All those choc... and everyone wanted only the outer slices with the chocolate!~ Whee! I love the MOIST CHOCOLATE CKAE fr SECRET RECIPE... i think i'm promoting them tsk! No wonder Val and Yvonne so wanted the (say it with the oomph and the glint in your eye) M.O.I.S.T C.H.O.C.O.L.A.T.E C.A.K.E! yes! You've completed your course in promoting the M.O.I.S.T C.H.O.C.O.L.A.T.E C.A.K.E! Here's your certificate of completion of the most prestiegious course one can ever dream of (:

now BOW!

IT's a COMMAND! yes go on... hmm, bend foward a lil' lower. HEY! SMILE to the CAMERA! YAY now time for photoshoot with cake.

AM i crazy or am i plain retarded? C'mon, tell me! i'll say i'm perfectly sane thank you. Yes now i demand you to give me my cuchy bed. I'm feeling sleepy already... YAWNZ... so now dear folks, if you wanna drop me a mail (snail mail) please ensure it's correctly addressed to the sane sardine who serves in the woody bridge (:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yeps... OK stop glorifying the innocent cake for goodness sake!

yeah, i didn't know that the SET game can be that fun... Ok, swee was refusing to play it, and then an hour later she forced me to play with her, and i also had to BEG Vatanya and Phuong to play with us. We were all visibly tired and graoning of headache and brain cells damage. And still, "inhumane" and "heartless" Swee still persistently insisted on playing. Hrmph. Awww my eyes needed repair. Any Band-Aids anyone? It has to be able to stick onto the rolley eyeballs though.

*SET is this IQ-ish game that i brought to school, and it attracted more and more people to play... Then i got sabo-ed into playing 1 against 6/7... that's like how scary lah!

------------------------------------------------

At night, i was chatting with YH which was the time i was posting this inteded post, which died on me! Sigh, my CPR skills too rusty already, I think i need to go through "pickling"...

YH was sooooo NICE to chat with! The chat was so good!

ERR, what did we talk about hmm?

Oh yah did i tell you that yh is retarded, a million times more than me? He was the one who conceived the funny and logic-less idea of a lunatic fish that grabbed hold of the hospital and ruled it... ok laugh folks! hur hur hur... me the FISh.... out of water... i think i ought to be flipping about then... i'm about to die!!!

We were discussing about cheap grace. Well, doesn't the word "cheap" itself gives the rotten-ness of salvation?? Cheap? It just sounds as though you've no heart for God, and have this heck-care, indifferent, and ungrateful attitude towards what your God had done for you. Somehow, it's contradictory. Grace stems form love and mercy. As such, one ought to be eternally grateful for God's precious flow of love... How can it make it out so seem as though you can buy grace? It's pretty obvious that the ONLY way is through Christ, through your genuine submission and PERSONAL decision to commit your life for Him. There's no other way to heaven. Christ is the Truth, the Way and the Life. Good Works, wealth or Fame cannot buy you a place in heaven. As such, how can you even place a pricetag on salvation? It's priceless! Thus; how can grace be cheap when it's ALREADY PRICELESS! If that's your mindset that your money can last forever and reserve a place for you in heaven, i say to you, BE VERY AFRAID! Fear God. Repent now!

Ok, next we also talked about Korea. Hey did you know that 1 in 2 Koreans are Christians? Koreans are really fervent in prayer! And that’s just one of the reasons for revival in that nation. People usually think it’s just due to a great man or something that lead to revival in a nation. Think much deeper! The Korean Church should be followed! I guess we still lack a lot of Ps that are needed for Revival, though we constantly keep asking for revival, we don’t actually work hard in putting in the effort to bring about revival. It’s possible! Revival isn’t something to be talked about only! We really gotta commit our lives to serving God to make this possible! The Korean church had to suffer much in order to have revival. Without persecution, it is impossible to be glorified with Christ. Sometimes we should be less concerned in saving our face, so that others may get a chance to know God. Opportunities never come repeatedly! Learn to grab them.

Ok, so anyway, i shall blog more about the Ps another time... School's ending this week. Gotta make full use of this hols'!

2005-10-24T21:51:00.000+08:00

YAY!

Enjoyed today alot....

Loved class party!

Loved the playing in class, though we all got headache playing Sets... Time past by really quickly...

Then we'd excursion to Parliament... haha loved the ride there... more games in the bus so fun! Pretty cool visiting Parliament too! So grand and what not... And not too boring, quite insightful rather...

OH MANZ! Also loved talking to YH! SO SUPER FUNNY! I'm gonna die of laughter!

ME the crazy tuna rules --> loony fish, that clinched the prestiegeous bed in Woody Bridge, and then became King/Queen and ruled all the wonderful lunatics!

WHEEE! ""hi mate! I dunno y but those lunatics tink we're loony and out us in here... nice to meet u How's life coping in here"

We'd also discussed about false doctrines such as cheap grace and also about teh Korean Church...

OK, i'll pause here for now...

TO BEE (buzz) CONTINUED...

-beep-

Went to AC Open Hse

2005-10-22T21:03:00.000+08:00

Ok, today was AC open hse...

Went there...

Wells i'm quite tired already...

Don't wish to comment much on acj; all JCs have ther plus and minus points...

So tired!

I gotta start studying hard for O's

Been doing way too badly...

But there's such a mountain full of stuff to study/learn! How FRUSTRATING...

WHERE oh where has my drive to study flown to?

Okay I also have lots of other stuff to do... CIP, Guides--> which is alot, that's all i can say, oh yeah I'll have Job Attachment too... Good! hope the hols will be fun and meaningful (:

==================================

Have i mentioned before that i hate the politics in guides? Competition. Jealousy. Need i emphasize COMPETITION? Popularity contest. Oh wells there're politics involved elsewhere too...

Gee as i've been typing these, all these idiotic antflies been bugging me! Shoo! Yuck!

Sigh i shall not go on about guides... this is a public blog after all. One must know how to restrain when the time calls for it.

Yupz! This is a really short post... Finally.

*the cuppy-cake song is so cute
*the annoying song is really stuck in my head, just like it did to danielle too (: / ):

Perplexing situations in life

2005-10-22T01:28:00.000+08:00

PEOPLE, READ THIS!

I really gotta blog this!

OKAY. The time is... Gee super late!

I was trying to sleep just now, but simply can't. Was praying too...

I just have this tug/burden/anxiety to blog this!! I really gotta fumble my way through now...

Career Quest... Gee I never knew it would lead to me asking myself about the future again. As in, I always thought it would be the entrepreneurship route. But somehow I always had the nagging feeling somethg might go wrong. But it's not that I think that the biz route is wrong. Since I'm pretty sure whatever route I take, is no big deal since if God is behind you, u can allay your fears since you'll be successful, both in your spiritual WALK and the worldly measure of success by your fame, power wealth.

Let's face it. Everyone is power-hungry. No one wants to be short-changed for their abilities. Who would want to get out of the rat-race, unless they decide to devote their life to seeking to pursue their particular religion.

Like what yh said, Christianity is not a religion. It's about a relationship with God. We Christians are not FANATICS. How can the world ostracize us? Okay, I can believe it. I mean it's hard to stomach that you're going to be out-casted if you try to spread your faith since we should be diplomatic about our religions in our multi-religious society that already is very kind to us by not persecuting us. But, if that day does comes, I trust God to enable me to face the persecution without fear.

Okay, all this is really hard to comprehend. Most people would simply brush this blog aside as simply way too cheem, maybe too deep, and just ANOTHER Christian blog that's too crammed with Christian ideas and FANTASIES. So that makes me another person who ought to shut her big mouth and stop polluting the secular world.

BUT, i really need an avenue to speak out. Yeah aren't blogs meant for angst-teens to let our frustrations out. True true.

I don't wanna continue this selfish way. But God i really don't know how to speak out, to let you speak through me to my friends!

Friends, don't be scared of me! Please don't shun me. Why am i this way? Why do i seem to be the only idiot who wastes her time blogging all these?

I've a god who loves. Yes Christianity is about love, and joy and peace. These i think everyone knows on the surface though Christmas promotions on these values of love and the "joy of giving".

I am not "another FANATIC". Need i scream this to drive my point.

To those who know me well... Okay, you know that i am alive, maybe human maybe not... That i bet you all think I'm brainy or what...Okay... I guess it's though peoples' blog that you sometimes get a glimpse of PEOPLE's feelings.

There is more to this God i serve than what you guys perceive.

It's not the "sense of fufilment" pastors get which gets them to leave their high flying jobs and to be pastors or missionaries. We are not people who have nothing better to do and just want to be "extra-ded" to "force' people to be Christians. Btw, being a Christian means you live for God, being a Sunday Christian is a totally different issue. If you're currently going to church, singing some songs that are to worship this god you don't even feel, or also to accompany parents, or also because of peer pressure. Well, I'm not condemning you, but would like to gently persuade you to reflect... Why do these Christians worship so fervently, and please do not think that you're not meant to be just like the other Christians. God accepts all of us, and race/enthnicity/status etc. Are not in the least of God's criteria.

All you need is a willing heart.

Back to the "sense of fufilment" thing. That phrase is much too often used... And i wonder if it's getting too cliched.

Perhaps it's part of the reason why people serve God.

BUT NO! There's a much higher purpose!

It's to serve God. Being pastors is simply 1 way that we can serve God. Being a Christian [real one] is one of the best ways you can bring a smile onto God's face.

Btw, the God we serve is real! I so wanna proclaim that my god is real!

As I'm typing this out, i really mean every single word that's sung...

Lord I'm stepping out
From the comfort zone
Letting go of me
Holding on to you...

You are the centre of MY LIFE!

It's not like I'm just probably a religious person/Jesus Fanatic...

Hey! I could just be more pai kia or be like any other person. The variety of characters i can be is overwhelming.

However, I dunno how to convince you, but it is MY OWN CHOICE, (not my parents), to serve this God whom you do not see.

How then can you believe in the unseen? [this qns to prove God's existence is one of tea most common debatable topics]

There are PLENTY of scientific explanations and rebuttals... i do not wish to delve into that cos it'll take too long...

Anyway, i have to tell you the truth. We can feel our god. We can talk with our God. He is not only a GOD but also a friend for eternity. God's presence is everywhere, just a matter whether you can feel Him.

I have this feeling everyone's freaked by everything I'm saying.

To my friends whom i really do not wish to offend:

It is really quite shallow to think that being a pastor is boring, low pay, just for sense of fufilment. Or yes i understand that it is difficult to understand what receiving God's calling means. The bottom-line is that my God has a purpose for our lives. And if it is your purpose to "officially" serve Him in the ministry, He would give you your calling. And really, it would be out of your true desire to serve Him for the rest of your days that you go full-time to be a pastor. That's in the career-wise sense. There're so many other ways that one can serve God. (i think I'm starting to repeat myself)

AIYOH! Pastors are not boring, and it's selfish thinking to be concerned about the pay. The pay doesn't matter. And yeah the common wise answer would be that the job satisfaction is far more important than pay. Yes i fully agree. However, it's about following God, dedicating your career to serving Him in church.

Yes. BELIEVE it. Many pastors who were earning tens of thousands gave up their jobs to follow God's calling. The natural response by most people would be "Ugh, so much money all gone! So scary to be pastor, waste your whole future"

So WHAT! God will provide for your needs! If need be, God will command the quails to fly to you as food and to drop heavenly bread to fall from heaven if it's vital to sustain your body if you were poverty-stricken. If you are cash-strapped, and you desperately need money for valid reasons, God can work miracles to support you financially. The word miracle sounds to fantasy-like, such that it's a miracle to experience a miracle. ie, miracles seem impossible.

----------------------------------------------------

Am i a "everyone is to convert" person? I hope I'm not. Somehow the zeal Christians have is unfathomable, too strong that we appear like fervent idiots. There's got to be a reason why so many people are so on fire for God. [I admit I'm not one] there cant be that many fools here on Earth.

Yeah, i know all religions profess to be the best. It's difficult to ridicule other religions cos yes i agree they are all right in their ways and are chock-full of wisdom to live life.

I'm not condemning that the values are wrong. That'll be so, snobbish to be only bias to my own "religion".

--------------------------------------------------

I shall have to blog another time. It's getting too late already...

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Dear friends, everything i say is heartfelt... i wish i could speak this out to you personally... Please don't everything i say... It's not as though I am just some philosopher/theologian/anything insulting/derogatory you wanna lash out at me.

remember there's a person behind all that you've read. Who'd thought and agonized over what to say and how to say so as to clarify my thoughts/ideas... And behind these ideas, you may believe or not, is a source that empowers the "pen". I've great conviction in what is say... Wells... I guess I'll end here.

If you've been reading this WHOLE LONG "epic-scale" post, i really wish to extend my heartfelt thanks to you for your patience! (;

DISC personality test

2005-10-19T16:23:00.000+08:00

WOW! i'm a CD

Not that it's great or what... since C people tend to be too demanding on people to be as meticulous as them. Anyway, after i came home and did another personality test online to check if the results were ACCURATE (C people like accuracy and being precise and correct), i got back very different results. That is D, I, C, S. Well well, that's erms weird? Haiya i'm sure i subconciously rigged the results after learning of the different personality tyes. Besides, most of the choices were, very close, as in, my personality was overlapping?

Well, i'm kinda tired of this personality test thingy. Everyone was talking about it today. So well, enough said.

This is such a SHORT post yay!

Oh no i'm adding more...

The instructor was so amusing, vocal, interactive, exaggerated, comical, and funny! Wahaha he's caled COACH Daniel. Coach? sounds weird right? Haha Daniel... That name reminded me of someone i know haha

Of NJ Open House and these few days

2005-10-18T22:21:00.000+08:00

Sat:

Went to NJ. Well I guess today I've not much mood to go on ranting and add onto my list of long posts. So I'll see if this post will be short. Hmm..

Well I was calling Danielle incessantly, who didn't pick up the phone so too bad... Anyway I went with chai yi... NJ's fine lah... The people are friendly... Well it's not bad, though I'm not exactly excited to go there yet, since i don't plan to go JC but i just might... I'm not sure about my course yet... But it doesn't matter. I've my future entrusted in God's hands anyway.

Sun:

The worship was wonderful today!!

We sang 1) Forever and a Day
2) Sing Out!
3) Praise You in This Storm :D
4) I will Wait

So full of joy and ecstasy when worshipping!!!
It's amazing how a whole congregation can sing in unison to the ONE and ONLY God we serve...

Speaking of which, Pastor Dale who was preaching had mentioned about serving only 1 master in life. Well, since it's my CHOICE to serve God, I can only serve 1 master. Remember that Christina, don't stray away. Always get back onto the track, set your heart right...

Anyway, Pastor Dale was preaching on he book of Romans. He'd said that he'd wanted to preach on the book of James, but somehow it was God's will to preach this book. Since God surely has a reason for covering Romans, which is a really difficult to comprehend book due to all the theological in-depth delving... As a result of all these theological terms and having everything not so clear-cut/ spelt out, many misconceptions arise, especially in our modern times where the Word is often twisted and turned in such a fashion that it takes on a whole new meaning. This is WRONG! Harlow! God's Word is final, it carries with it the true message that God intends to tell us. NOT for us to study, delve, and form opinions about it, AND then translate it into what He meant. You can't change things from black to white. Why then would Jesus use to say "It is written"... And then quote directly from what it was said in the Old Testament.

We use not of our brains to "interpret" the bible, but to ask God to show us the light. ERMS, do you see the light? Tee hee!

Just a point to note, many times Christians intrude into people's lives without ensuring that the field is ready. I say to you, have Patience! [i remember Chara saying the fruits of the spirit...

** love;

joy;
peace;
patience;
kindness;
goodness;
faithfulness;
gentleness;
self-control **

Pray too. Fervently. Else it may well be a futile attempt.

I MUST (3x) live what i preach. Being a christian is special cause it is about having the highest form of relationship, one that's of love. [agape] Pastor Dale's analogy was good... Few decades back, when belting up in cars were not yet made mandatory, one can always obviously tell the relationship going on between a couple. If it's intimate, then from behind the car you'll see 2 heads merging into 1 when it's red light. But when you see the wife staring out of the window, then you know something bad's brewing between them. This spells trouble.

Precisely. Loving God doesn't take place once a week in church for about 2 hours or so. That makes you a Sunday Christian. It's clear-cut that you've no wish to serve God, well since you don't even know the purpose of going to church. Do you? But this doesn't mean that you can not go to church since "as long as you believe in Him", there's no need to go to church. Going to church, LISTENING (not hearing) and ABSORBING God's Word during sermons is only part of accounting to the being a christian factor. What makes a christian then?

It's to be a child of God.

Everyone starts out as a baby when we accept Christ. It's usually in this stage that your beliefs are new and you're on FIRE for god. That's great. Probably the most exciting time of a person's life. However, it's also the most dangerous stage as most backsliders lost their faith during this stage. It's because when you're still a baby, your beliefs are not well-rooted or watered yet. You're like a young sapling, needing tlc, and lot's of "spoonfeeding" from God. It's also the time when prayers seem to somehow always get answered and God's presence is so tangible. Unfortunately the effects SEEM to wear off after awhile. It's always a matter of time when your level of faith dwindles down the "faith-meter". Thus all new Christians please take heed.

We're living in the End Times. It's important to live everyday for God. To live as a good testimony, and stop BRAGGING WILL YOU. Bad testimony. You don't profess what you are this way...

"He who exalts himself shall be humbled;
He who humbles himself will be exalted"

There's the whole thing about cheap grace. No! You can't buy grace just by accepting God.

As in, regarding the theory of God loving the sinners but hating sin. The grace of God doesn't stop with justification (being a christian), BUT it continues to unfold through the sanctification of a christian. Thus God requires us to be sanctified.

definition from dictionary.com:

sanctify
To set apart for sacred use; consecrate.
To make holy; purify.
To give religious sanction to, as with an oath or vow: sanctify a marriage.
To give social or moral sanction to.
To make productive of holiness or spiritual blessing.

I LOVE this explanation of sanctification...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Involves more than a mere moral reformation of character, brought about by the power of the truth: it is the work of the Holy Spirit bringing the whole nature more and more under the influences of the new gracious principles implanted in the soul in regeneration. In other words, sanctification is the carrying on to perfection the work begun in regeneration, and it extends to the whole man(Rom. 6:13; 2 Cor. 4:6; Col. 3:10; 1 John 4:7; 1 Cor. 6:19). It is the special office of the Holy Spirit in the plan of redemption to carry on this work (1Cor. 6:11; 2 Thess. 2:13).

Faith is instrumental in securing sanctification, in as much as it
(1) secures union to Christ (Gal. 2:20), and
(2) brings the believer into living contact with the truth, whereby he is led to yield obedience "to the commands, trembling at the threatenings, and embracing the promises of God for this life and that which is to come."

Perfect sanctification is not attainable in this life (1 Kings 8:46; Prov. 20:9; Eccl.7:20; James 3:2; 1 John 1:8). See Paul's account of himself in Rom. 7:14-25;Phil. 3:12-14; and 1 Tim. 1:15; also the confessions of David (Ps. 19:12, 13;51), of Moses (90:8), of Job (42:5, 6), and of Daniel (9:3-20). "The more holy a man is, the more humble, self-renouncing, self-abhorring, and the more sensitive to every sin he becomes, and the more closely he clings to Christ. The moral imperfections which cling to him he feels to be sins, which he laments and strives to overcome.

Believers find that their life is a constant warfare, and they need to take the kingdom of heaven by storm, and watch while they pray. They are always subject to the constant chastisement of their Father's loving hand, which can only be designed to correct their imperfections and to confirm their graces. And it has been notoriously the fact that the best Christians have been those who have been the least prone to claim the attainment of perfection for themselves.",
--Hodge's Outlines.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's a difference between freedom TO sin and freedom FROM sin.

Through JC, we are freed from the bondages of sin. BUT we are not free to sin as we please. This displeases God. In another light, look, if you've taken your step in faith to believe in God, the Holy Spirit will do its work to empower and convict us to live for God. If you've entered into this relationship, it's only plausible to INVEST in it, and not to let the relationship strain. Thus it's important to devote time for God, He is not for you to chuck aside when not needed, and become your genie when you're in dire straits.

The body and spirit cannot be separated. Hence, how can it be argued that when you sin, it's only the physical body sinning, and does not affect the spirit and soul? No! Both are tainted at the same time. The spirit cannot be sanctified if your sinful thoughts, that translate into sins, cause the body to be constantly sinning. On this Earth, when our spirit comes alive, it affects our soul and influence our pphysical actions.

When you receive the grace of God, you'll be inspired to be sanctified and refrain from sinning. So, with the Holy spirits empowerment, we need not fear being handicapped from not trying not to sin.

If God is for us,

Who can be against us?

------------------------------------------

Mon and tues:

Sigh all the lessons and homework. More tests coming up when term starts next year. OK, I shall not allow myself to become depressed just like that. So yeah, let's live with all these HW will ya? Besides, if you're studying to glorify God, how tortuous can it be?

------------------------------------------

some songs of worship always keep comic across my head...

Oh well i'll not go into that. CYA!

Last day for checking ugly marks

2005-10-16T00:34:00.000+08:00

wheeee!

Today all the humans paper... WE basically had a bad day... With EVERY single subject being screwed up.. and the teachers rubbing it in that we dad horrendously badly. And ms tan was being "very kind" to stop whacking us with her comments and save it for the SS people who did worse. So we the history people at least did better than the SS people... and the SS people have it worse.... Erms... do you see any sense in that? We the Hist people also apparently take SS... is there any comfort knowing that we not only screwed Hist, but did even worse in SS?

Lit was... Ms soh set the tone with "girls do you know what wearing black symbolizes?" Oh manz... the waiting time is always a torture. You're itching to snatch back your papers that you feel will have a "lovely grade" scribbled on it... but yet you're to sit through the arduous ordeal of patiently and quietly listen to comments on our hilarious errors. AND absorb the perfect model answers that the teachers stick to (well not all teachers) and absolutely fail to see your point of view since it is insignificant and carries a minute weightage.

I had so dreaded to do badly and then lose all mood for ice skating…

OH NOOOO....

BUT! Thnak God i didn't fail anything... I was prepared not to get crushed by my results... Anyway to cut my long story short, i did okay and was pleased to be able to celebrate in peace. If not i could also rest in peace.

The [mis]adventure to JEC was so funny and memorable! How silly we seem. Maybbe it's my fault... Oops.. But hey it's really amusing to be going everywhere aimlessly, imagine this group of girls heading to and fro like ants... not having a definite plan. ANd it's all just a task of bringing yourself to anoither location.

Well well. First blame it on the rain. Rain, rain [never] go away... So we the 5 people with 2 umbrellas were dabating on how to get there, but constantlu digressing... till we reached teh school gate... and realised, oops... so how now? Okay fine let's take 960 to new ton, then to bugis, then to jurong... since we THINK that it wont take too long. But 960 never came. Or at least for 15 minutes, which allowed so many other people to have come and gone in that "short-frame" of time. While waiting for 960, me suggested to run over to the other bustop to take bus down to jurong... since the rain was less heavy. But everyone too lazy to shift our bums and get wet. So ok we stayed put.

960m finally came. But it took at least 10 minutes to reach barker, due teh teh traffic jam! The cars were hardly moving and in fact, we saw minmin walking along the sidewalk, past the bus. But the time the bus crawled on a little further, she'd disappeared onto another bus at the bustop. So, since the bus was of a low velocity, we decided to alight and cross over to the other side of teh road and take 66, since me said that the other direction never encounters traffic jams. Great! We alighted. Then, OH NO!~ We alighted too late! Stuck in the middle of no where and have to walk quite a little to cross the road. So we debated whether to eat at Balmoral, since we were feeling so famished already. Over at the bustop outside Balmoral, Fiona and I wanted to hitch a cab that was a little further down the road. The taxi-driver seemed to signal to us to get in, while PeiWee and Charing were still reluctant to move their bodies over and started to amble towards us. Oops, the green light came on, and teh taxi drivber roomed away with his taxi, causing us to watch him in despair. HOWEVER, 66 finally came! Tghus we had to run back to the bustop. (i bet we looked teh funniest idiots on earth to the barker guys)

On the bus, we started to push each other to sit down. Danielle finally went to sit, and i joined her "to make her not so lonely"... and peiwee came too. Haha we were playing this thumb game which was so amusing.

all of them kept going "ARE WE THERE YET?" Just like in shrek's... Yah, pathetic me lives that far away from school. So this is how long it takes to go to school and back for me everyday.

Sigh. After getting down teh bus, we still needed to walk all the way there, since we couldn't simply cut through the "bus parking" which i would have wanted to. While crossing teh road, someone mentioned "yellow" and "crescent". I went "HUH??" "oh yah there's a crez girl there. OH YAH! tt's my best friend! And i ran towards her much to the other's amazement. Hehe i think we were such slow coaches. By the time danielle's and my food came, Charing had already eaten her fill.

After skating for about 20 min, they had to resurface the ice. Sad. Wasted our time.

Oh wells, enough of this boring story.

Oh yah i remember danielle and i were debating on whether to eat at LJS or at mac's... HEHE (:

ok i shall stop here and continue another day. Gotta sleep!

BYE! (:

2005-10-13T15:08:00.000+08:00

HAIZZZZ...

Warning this is... Maybe depressing. Maybe incomprehensible. Read at your own risk! wahaha! (:

`*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*'

THE "day of reckoning" arrived, spelling full-blown disaster. Together with the onslaught of wonderful red lines screaming out at every single pale as sheets faces, were the accomplices (zeroes) of arrogant, stout and "curvaceous" creatures, emphasizing each and everyone's doom in pure, simple language comprehensible to all, with it's snug, condescending look, breaking the hearts of all the girls in blue. Silently, but swiftly, the dreaded reality pounces up at almost every victim, injecting the deadly poison of depression efficiently with it's deft and nimble hands... Exercising it's craft to absolute perfection. Lethal! In the corner, the crafty, sly and wily old fox sniggers at his accomplishment; it exalts thyself at it's success year after year, never leaving the room without taking a last glance at the dark stains it left behind.

Oh! How the tear-stained faces would break your hearts, bringing about a certain desire to comfort them. But HOW? With what language?

Or can a sympathetic look wipe away the tears?

`*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*' `*0Oo*'

HEEELLLOOO!

haiz....

Oh well that was just a random exaggeration of the atmosphere of gloom looming in the rooms when people get their results back. It's not really fact nor fiction, just a jumble of words that could well describe the situation... That happens without fail every single year, bringing about much pain and anxiety to us people. Past or present...history learns to repeat itself. How traumatic it is to receive our results... [of all things!]

Results aren't everything yeah.... BUT... oh well sometimes things are best left unspoken of. Better to be unheard. But silence can't mend the downcast hearts. Nor can comforting words lift the sadness stinging many.

-------------------------------------------

I thank God for allowing me to pass. Though they aren't that desirable, but it's ok.

oh well, so depressing everything seems.

But somehow I ain't that depressed. Just trying to express the sadness of my classmates....

oh well, don't feel like adding much more.

To God be the glory!

2005-10-12T18:18:00.000+08:00

Two things I'm basically covering today...

Yesterday, yh asked me to help with answering questions in a forum "golivewire" that he chanced upon. Apparently it's to help answer questions posed by some people who are unsure of the answers in life and religion. From an other person's perspective, we seem to be promoting our religion I guess, simply appear to be christian idiots who probably are brainwashed, have no life, are so goodie-two-shoes who think that everything pleasurable is a sin, only are fanatics who are so not like every other normal human being on earth. Basically, some, if they could, would term us as outcasts. However, I wonder if they do see any sense in what we say, and I hope they don't cast aside every word written. It's not as if we're 1-track airheads who've nothing better to do in life.

Okok, maybe I'm exaggerating... not EVERYONE is like that... just a few... but I guess it's fufilling to try and help answer some people's queries. Not just that, it's the burden I have reading these ideas some people have. Absolutely warped... Makes u cringe as u read it... I don't wanna judge, but some are evil. Home fine fine it can just be argued they're normal people, just with different perceptions...kk... Hope that they'll change their ways one day... Quite impossible to rattle off and condemn them as a way of reaching out to them. It's love that needs to ooze out of us and let goad love work miracles. God's love can melt the coldest, hardest, disbelieving atheist. It has happened before, and still will.

I'm so amazed at how God can use anyone of us a a vessel. It feel so cool to be used by God, to be able to be his mouth. To speak for Him and live for His purpose and let what i do glorify Him. Well, i'm qutie ashamed of myself, it's not as though i'm a very good testimony... Gotta work on it!

Great! now next topic... [sheesh i'm feeling sleepy already. Ahh! Fatigue coming over me!] Yea, today was the first dar of recogning, the supposed DOOM DAY. Wahaha! nah in the end we all realised today's the best it can get already. Thursday and friday are gonna be worse. Somehow a part of me says [i'm gonna die... i'm doomed! --> i'm certain really... i just might fail my Amath. And just migth fail lit --> the irony manz, if i've to do repaper for lit. I guess i really was wrong in being so boastful, over-confident, self-assured... that lit would be a breeze... Guess wad Christina? Your A's now an instant B or C. Just like that. With the most ridiculous reason. Wonder if it's part of God's testing for me...

Life's a huge test. Not that God plagues you non-stop, just that it always seem so when you're down and out. Just like how i prabably was and might be still. It's quite miserable if all you think is that God's a monster, who finds pleasure in hurting you so. Reality Check Time! Nooooo! Look at Job! It hurts God more than you, dear, to "inflict" any form of suffering. REMEMBER, it's part of His plan to lould you into a better Christian. You aren't a baby anymore, where you gotta be spoon-fed less you back-slide. In fact it's more amazing! Why live life on a bed of roses? Meaningless then. Remember Chris, look at the brighter side of things! Passing God's tests brings you closer to Him, and allows you to be rid of your impurities and turn out into refined gold! Good and pleasing to God! YAY! (:

Oh why then was i saying that "the worse is yet to come"? Sounds funny. Others may agree and giggle along. But are you being true to yourself? Dear me, from today let's stop saying fake stuff k?

OH YAH! Manz i drifted away so much! haha like a log flowing down a, a?? stream? Torrents of water due to the tsunami?! Shudder. (was watchnig a documentary on the tsunami the other day... so heart-wrenching)

ANYWAY. thank you dear Lord for hearing my cries. I was at the verge of breaking down, and felt you were turnnig a deaf ear to my pleas. Oh how foolish am i (this reminds me of swee saying "great minds think alike... followed by an insult. HRMPH!) Dear Lord, thank you for my current results. However good or bad they are, I accept them and yearn no longer for more. Thank you God, for my english. It's really IMPOSSIBLE to do this well, ONLY you cloud have done it. Thanks for giving me this last chance, when i was desperately desiring to clinch that one last chance. Thanks Lord, no word can replace how much a thank you for giving me this sign, showing me you're still there.

Seriously, it's utterly impossible by me to do well for English. As in, this well. It's not just an INCREDIBLE thing, it's more. it's a miracle! Especially when i really sought to grab any mark i could in this last paper.

Somehow my emotions cry out...

"You stole my lit away..." but now
"You replaced it anyway"

OKAY! that is so absolutely childish.

but i guess that's what i felt.

I'll praise you in this storm!

Shall i hope? Hope against hope? Dare to believe in more miracles to come? It's not as if i'm only concerned in seeknig miracles... Just that...

Do i dare to? Seem impossible. This nagging thought running through my head "You're DEAD for Amath, Hist, everything you placed your hopes on" But is this voice reliable? Will I succumb deeper than the reality of it? Won't i just end up killing myself more more believing that i'm hopeless. If you're hopeless, you're in actualy fact more of a goner than the supposed goner.

But still... Or am i simply hiding from reality? Puffing myself up? Sweetening the bitter truth. But truth isn't truth IF there's no proof of it's existence yet! What if it still doesn't hit you and probably never will?

I think i'm over reacting with dispersed thoughts.

Dispersed. i like the sound of that word. Scattered. Caught in an ambush and seeknig to esccape in all directions. *what the crap am i talking about?!*

Whatever it is... i guess i'll keep my cool, keep my peace.

Hey! I guess i wonder if i'm fit enough to exclaim...

"i've got peace like a river"

But one thing a know is that i obviously agree with...

"Do Lord oh do Lord oh do remember me"

I shall "cast all my cares upon you.. lay all my burdens down at your feet"

:))))))

That's enough for the day!

Bored

2005-10-11T16:38:00.000+08:00

So bored so bored so bored!
ahhh.... Erms, yeah, so that's why I'm here I guess... Can't do much at home cos my brother still has exams... Sigh, then I've to coach him too... oh well tomorrow's going to mark a very terrible day... It's probably the first time that I seriously dread getting back results..

oh well, after posting some crap here for expressing myself sake, I'll go on with what I was doing...

In the cross, in the cross,
Be my glory ever;
Till my ruptured soul shall find
Rest beyond the river.

China

2005-10-11T12:07:00.000+08:00

wheeee!

Aiyoh i spent so long trying to solve a trigo proving qns, in the end aft messing up the whole paper, and cracking my brain, and roping in 2 other friends to HELP, it's still.... unsolved. MYSTERY that's a bad rotten egg, still laying unhatched, uncracked by us [erms, useless? noob] detectives. rite......

Okay tt was retarded.... oops, gee... :p

YAY! evangel's gonna do more mission works in China. Well, i never was interested about reaching out to china, until last week when they showed us the video/documentary on china and how Christianity is spreading there despite communism suppressing it.

Amazing right? That despite persecutions people there still CLING on to their faith, despite living under shadows of fear, because they were going to either be imprisoned or executed for being a believer. I can't imagine myself being on eof them. IF someone was gonna hold the knife at my neck or point the gun at my face, would i be able to resist temptation or would i succumb to the devil by renouncing my faith?

Presently, living in this supposedly safe democratic and equal society, it's quite hard to imagine massacres taking place. The only type of persecution i would experience seems to be peer pressure, of criticism and mocking. One question to test my faith really :God, would i deny you or would i glorify you? I shudder to imagine myself being so narrow-minded to fear Man and the physical.

Man can only harm the body, or maybe even mentally... they cannot lay a finger on your soul... It's through these kind of persecutions that u literally grab hold of God and refuse to let go of Him and His love. They can crush your dreams, but they CANNOT shatter your hopes.

And without faith, it is impossible to please God. Christina, even though you may not see God, but faith is the belief in the unseen. So don't let doubts cloud you, don't let your human mind rationalize your way through. God's way is too complex for your understanding. Let Him guide you along, not vice versa.

OKOK, back to china, the video was so touching that everyone cried... it's not like we're crybabies, but the way the Chinese showed such resilience and yet still remain loyal to their own country that practically disowns them. God’s love moves you completely till you’re utterly shaken and it’s really emotional to see the Chinese struggling to survive. Their will to survive isn’t even their own will. Unbelievers would simply admire how they could endure over 20 years of hardship inside prison, while the truth is that God gave His children supernatural strength to go on.

“Not by might, not by power, but by the spirit of god
Yes I will run the race
Till I see your face…”

I'm so glad i managed to find the webby for that documentary... It's http://www.chinasoul.com/e/cross-script.htm
Simply reading the script, without watching the video is moving enough...

I like the song "Chang yi shou tian shang de ge". Personally i kinda shun chinese and alot of things related to it, but this song that we sing in church is such a powerful song!

Another song we've been singing recently is "praise you in this storm"...

Another thing to ponder about is how people make church and christianity out into another cool religion. This world now is all about finding your spirituality and inner peace. Religion becomes a necessity, but in the sense of being a tool in helping one cope with urban living. It's quite rubbish! Yes, it may be good that churches are "reinventing" themselves to appeal to the young and the masses, but bear in mind that christianity doesn't become this exclusive, hip and trendy "in" thing that ends up becomnig a fad. Instead of really knowing God in a personal way, is it now evolving into a great place to hang out? It's great that the worship is fantastic, but is that simply it? F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. Invigorates you and makes you high. Rite... then why call it worship? Might as well term it as singing for one's pleasure sake.

When you worship, it's from the heart, god looks at the heart, not at the vocal ability. So that's how the song "heart of worship" came about... The highest form of worship is being able to praise God despite gonig through trials and testings...

Shucks, tomorrow going back to school... i dread getting my papers back... Tough to have faith that God will lead me through my studies.... But I must not lose hope.

yay exams over!

2005-10-10T18:55:00.000+08:00

heh heh! i'm back!! After a few days of "recuperating" fr depressing exams... oh wells i think i'm on a "help everyone else who's still dying in exams" campaign... i bet i seem like some "do u want notes" fanatic... dunno why but it comes out of my mouth whenever i meet ppl... oh wells, it's good to help others, without expecting anything back.

oh well i shall make good my word to blog... there were so many instances i felt like blogging about some particular incident or thoughts, but i restrained myself in case i take too long on the com.

thinking about exams just depresses me. This series of terrifying days of turmoil are definitely rated the worst i've ever endured. How i felt like QUITTING exams (if ever there's such a thing) right after the 2nd paper. Swee was voicing my sentiments when she said "i'll be blessed if i fall sick by tomorrow".

hmm, somehow there seems to be problems with the education system in most countries. It's great that s'pore tries to get us to voice our feedback and make changes, but it still doesn't seem to work very well. Oh well, making us do well is all a matter of our interests, but then the problems lies with practically everyone dreading exams and studying by the time we hit sec. school, where teh going gets tough, and studying becomes an uphill, frustrating task.

I especially like Poland's edu. system... last time read about it in the papers i think. It's a system of getting students to set targets for themselves, so studying or obtaining knowledge becomes each person's personal responsibility, thus they get driven to study and they help each other... The teachers are also of "better quality" since teaching is a prestigious occupation there, and there's the stringent selection of teachers... Finally of cos their lessons are according to how the student's like... so much better right... doing away with the forced subjects to study each day.

I was chatting with my chilton friend the other day (my NZ buddy's friend)... She was shocked that just by the fact that we have exams, and shocked to know that they are BAD... EXAMS are murderers, they KILL, RETARDS OUR BRAINS, and are the social process of RENDERING HUMANS USELESS though the process of effectively harnessing the route learning way. Sheesh i sound like i over-reacted. HAHA! well it's simply to emphasize the pain and agony we all go through. SADLY. SIGH. --thus i'm pretty much an old, dull, boring, naggy, haggard, cynical granny/ah mah already, tsk!

Shucks, so much complains over whatever woe and agony of exams... How depressing. Well exams ARE depressing, judging by the overall sombre mood and dejected faces u see each day, both before and after the papers.

HAHA, mrs low was commenting that she saw many beamnig faces right after the english paper... and warned us to stay outta trouble... okok fine...

TIME to be on the bright side now!

IMAGINE the bright sun, warm and blazing onto this cold blog/ words with hopefull some meaning...

EEKS, so hot, yucks, scorching the com... OOH, hot hot! HELP! ice cream! come!

Erms, that was me and my corny/lame side taking over, hang on, isnt it always prevalent? tee hee hee! okay, i dunno for sure if i'm lame, but i do know alot of people like swee and many others say so... wahaha! Being lame/retarded/spastic does help in destressing or livening up spirits though, and brings out the child in you... gee that makes me feel so old. It's fun to act young (;

Anywaes... i've been posted to Pat's schoolhouse in buckley road for job attachment!

Initially i wasn't too thrilled, and though that childcare was my 3rd choice, apparently it was my 2nd. Oh wells, Fiona did a marvelous job in getting me more hyped about working there, though conditions may not be too favourable for a "non-liking-kids" me... Imagine all those puny lil kids running everywhere, screaming their heads off, constantly falling and then wailing away, attention grabbing... teh list goes on. Then there's the responsibility of making sure they dun get hurt or get ticked off by you...i fear that if i just lay 1 hand on anyone, the next day spells trouble with parents. ie. DOOM (danielle's favourite word)

Apparently i'm comnig during their year end concert, which is said to be a really big thing. So perhaps it'll be cute seeing them rehearse and maybe helping to direct kids. However this means that 4 days i'll hv to work until 11pm. Gonna be so physically AND mentally draining.

Thank god i've fiona worknig at the same pre-school. Hmm, i guess i'll work better with her (but i doubt we'll be put together) since i know her for quite long already... It'll probably be more awkward to be with others...

The fees for Pat's schoolhouse are SUPER HIGH... plus the building looked so grand, from the pic I’d seen on their webby… hmm pretty cool…

Haha I’m quite excited to work there already…

Anyway, after this really long post, I think I shall update soon, another time (: